A NEW YEAR

Happy New Year!! I was away on Christmas but for the New Year, I'm staying home baby!

2010 has been a really big year with lots of ups and downs and many very memorable moments, like the Winter Vancouver Olympic!! CANADA BEATS U.S AT FINALS!! and doing stats, accounting, compensation, industrial relation, and so on - ups and downs. Thank God I was able to keep my honours and gave me friends who really support me during the hardship. There are so many things to thank God for, and this year I wish to grow deeper in Christ. Be a knowledgeable, capable, and a loving person with Godly characters. I don't know exactly what I want to do but I want to be an inspiration to others everywhere I go. Work harder. Work smarter. Work because I want to be a good testimony.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Another funny incident

I am sooooooooo sad right now. The final mark for my Issues class is out and WUT DA HELL I got a B!?!? I was really hoping, aiming, going to get an A in this A possible course and MY STUPID GROUP which my STUPID prof put me in was SOOO HORRIBLE! But whatever, they pull me down but I still should have gotten a B+!!!! N WHEN IT COMES TO MY GPA IT DOES MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE!! MY BOSS IS GOING TO KILL ME! SO I emailed him n was like 'YO, HOW DID U JUST MAKE THESE MARKS UP?" another friend of mine had the same problem, where his entire group got an A and he was the only one with a B+. The final 20% participation is sooo frigin subjective, omg, I regret going to class SOOO MUCH!! I REGRET going to every class when I could have made a better use of my time. That class is honestly the most useless class ever. I know so many people who never even show up n still got an A, so much for the 20% participation mark. But what angers me the most is this reply he send me, "I cannot relook at marks and do not have final approval of marks." LIKE HOW USELESS ARE YOU!? omg n I just got an email from the other coach (Dec.22) emailing me about information that I needed to know in Dec 09!!! THE UNIVERSITY CASE COMPETITION IS ALREADY OVER!! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!

i SO hate My university RIGHT now.
My school needs some serious reforming to do 'cause this is SUCH a joke!!!

2 To Go

2 more exams to go!!! x_x OD and TD T__T

After that it's Christmas!! I can't believe our psy prof gave us an assignment during the break >___> *sigh* Oh! and our team won the case competition!! YAY!! So we'll be competing in the provincial level on Jan 14 and then National sometime in March!! I'm not sure how that is going to work, I'm really confuse about the entire competition and how it's organized. Either way!! We're going to the top!!!

Really Upset

It's snowing~ but that's not it.
I had my HRM Research exam this morning ~ but it's not that either.
My OD Prof really lectured us today ~ but it's not that.
My boss called me~ I'm actually glad.

My parents made some mistakes~ I can't say what but I'm really worry. Really upset why they would do that. I don't want to believe what the other people are saying. I just can't believe it. Not my own parents.

I just don't believe it. I wish these thoughts will just leave me.

I'm just going to focus on exams and studying and work and prep for the case study competition. Currently preparing the case and going head on with our competitions. I really really really want to win this. I might struggle in confidence, but lately, I learned to be humble and be confident in God. lol

Current Music: Scared of Lonely - Beyonce

Wanna Cry

Just looking at the 30 page case study makes me wanna cry. I don't wanna read it T_______T We have to finish the 5 page report + the 15 minute presentation in a week.*sigh* DUe monday T____T. THe HRM research report is like 27 pages, over 5000 words due tomorrow and Psy exam on SUnday. T___T I hope my boss completely forget to assign me stuff. >_<

Pleasssssssssseeeeeeeeee forgeeeeeeeet~

CUrrent Music: The only exception - Glee

interesting review

So recently, Ranny's been somewhat strange. I don't want to think too much about it but I don't know, I thin something's up. Long story short, his msn name is suggesting something odd. I'm not exactly sure I know what I am talking and I'm pretty sure I'm thinking too much already, but I just can't help noticing his first display name "I dunno, i dunno i dunno y did i do that", and then " y did I do this?", and later, "hate life". o.O I know that he went pooling with Becky and some other friends of her, like did anything happen between them. lol~ Not that is any of my business, but it's a possibility.=\ Hmm~ What's even more strange, is that today, he ask me to go out to lunch with him. We talked and stuff. With the stuff that we talked about, something's definitely bothering him. But what? I hope he knows that he can tell me. Even if a relationship didn't work out, we're still the closest friends.

Having said that, I don't see us in a relationship right now. Not now, not ever. It's not impossible but odds are against it. Reality is cruel and life is demanding. We've chosen our own path.

Current Music: Sway - Glee

Marry U

After balling my eyes out for the past few dayz, all of a sudden, I feel so happy~ I have so much energy~ And just in time too~ research report due next Wed, Psy exam next Sunday, then Issues persentation on the folling Mon and then Research exam on the follwing Wed. o__o And lots more exams to come. The case compeletion is coming too!! >_<

Currently falling in love with this new Glee song~ Marry U <3 It sound sooo Christmasy for some strange reason~ :P

._.

Why is Esther so defensive of our parents? She's like aggressively defensive. Just one word that suggest our parents are bad parents and she goes ballistic. She did admit several times that our parents are definitely not the best, but what does it matter? No matter how much you try to protect them it's not gonna help if they themselves don't care. So get off my case~ You have absolutely no knowledge to judge or say anything. Until you walk in my shoes, any comments/ arguments you make is going to be invalid to me. It's going to make you look like a fool, because your eyes are blind.

I know being parents are tough, but maybe they should think about that before having all 5 kids? Perhaps my "friend" brainwashed me, but she's right. And don't even pretend like you are interested in me, all these sappy-love talk just makes me laugh. I rather you people just don't love me at all than confuse me with your ultra-mix signals.

Love me conveniently. Love me minimally. Love me conditionally. These garbage words goes in to a relationship and it comes right out. I rather you ppls be completely cold with me.



Once or twice I ran away from home when I was 6/7ish, and you know what, I still want to. Sometimes I want to cut all ties with them. Sometimes I just can't stand them. Other times, they just don't exist to me. There are even times when I just want to disappear, and I came close once, too close. Who knew what would have happen to me? It's funny how till now, they still know nothing. It wasn't that long ago that I was kidnap in the mall, didn't know about that huh? and you'll never know anything, because you don't care enough. All my closest friends knew, but you are among the outsiders, the passerby, the extras in a movie that wish they were somebody.
In the past, you ppls were somebody. Now? You ppls lost it. I don't know if you realize this, but ur slowly being replace. There's an ambitious woman (aka my boss) in my life and she has already step up to replace you ppls. Her impact are 100% bigger and stronger than your 21 years influence (mostly negative).

Take care of yourselves.
I can't say I'll be there.
I know you're sorry, and I am too.

Distractions

Going to study as much Psy as possible. Hopefully it'll completely distract me. u__u

encouragment

So I mess up some work stuff and my boss is trying to save our asses now. I bet she has already told like everyone about this... well no everybody but all her close buddy that this some "urgent" matter as come.

Funny thing is, I know I mess up, but Im not exactly sorry. I just feel like I got more work to do now, how annoying. It's a good mistake to learn from though. I'm somewhat angry at myself for doing that and I can tell you my boss sound really upset. >_> Sigh. Sorry won't cut it, so now what? I'm so fed up with feeling so guilty all the time. Sigh.......

I think I need some encouragement. u_u

Rec Script

So I'm currently doing the script right now for today's presentation. It's 5:26 am but I plan to go back to sleep. It's not like I plan to wake up at this time >_> it just happened. Now, back to the script~ My group send me this uncomprehending report right? With you know, really wordy words and super-run-on sentences. I thought my English's bad, but this is like "un-din-a-ble"x_x I cannot stand any types of readings where the writer does not know how to use "," and "." ~ But whatever~ you know the first time they did this, I thought it was because this other reason. I know, silly me~ again~ but this is so strange because we are in a 4th year class, which means that these group mates of mine might be grad. soon. So how da heck did they make it this far without having learn to use "," and '." o_o In all honesty, I cannot finish the report and the script. To edit it, I would have to reword and change the sentence structure, because the amount of ideas that one sentence have is just too crazy. Maybe is just me (I know it's not but just saying), but taking up 7 lines at Words is pretty crazy no? Just that one sentence. >_> Although I do like this girl in my class more than the other members (I'll lol if they just walk out right after presentation again), this group really suck u_u. It's one of those unusual cases where I really want to have nothing to do with my group. >__> I can't wait until this semester is over.

Back to rewording my script. If only I understand what she is trying to say, it'll make rewording so much easier. If I can finish reading it, it'll be even better~

Mistakes

The one biggest mistake I've made so far, I think, is not repeating mistakes. No, that's what my boss tells me. See, it's horrible, but! It's still somewhat fixable. The biggest mistake, so far, is that I've misunderstood the entire education system. Although I have the world to blame for this, I accuse myself for the inability to change my mental models. Even now, today, I still stand by some of these principles. I'll defend some of these principles with my life if I have to. Yet, as I grow up, many of these will be have rewritten or refine. Still, even though I am trying to change now, I still have to pay a price for that mistake. That price is time, both past and presence, I'm already wasting the future. And right now, I can't afford this price, not anymore.

So I had a really bad day at work today. I don't know what to say. I'm not giving up though! If she's not quitting on me, there's NO WAY I'm giving myself up! I luv me too much~ lol~ Either way, I really need this. This will be such an big stepping stone for me. For those of you who don't know, I am going to become famous one day. Not because I am sooo damn good taking short cuts or I got someone else to do the job for me, but I WORKED FOR IT!!! AND I AM WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES. EVEN IF I DIE TRYING, I DIE KNOWING that God loves me T__T and I PUT UP AN OUTSTANDING FIGHT! Like Spartans!! I am taking the war to another level, so don't try walking over me.

I might cry. I might get depressed. I might even have a nervous break down. But I'm not afraid to get hurt, or be emotional, or even draw blood. If it kills me, then so be it, was nice knowing you. Thank you so much to all my friends (Micah, Esther, Jojo, and others... you know who you are) If you only knew, you would have done the same. Don't judge me for being crazy. "Great process is made by these who have the foresight and the courage to be unreasonable."

I was inspired today by Gurbaksh Chahal and so my blog was kinda long. " every mistake in the real world builds your character." He's so right, though I'm not sure what kind of characters, 'cause it goes both ways (positive and negative).

Now, to plan for vengeance- one long-ass-blog indeed.

I've tried spreading the work out through the week, but it wasn't good enough. To nail it, I need more planning, more time, more fire. As for now:

1) organize desk
2) printout of things to look out for (stuff she hates)
3) brainstorm and plan to do the impossibles
4) steps to do the impossible task + agenda
5) the action

soo much to do

another post to complain how about how much work I have.
*sigh* got our OD exam back. I got 60% T_____T~ Trying to comfort myself right now with the fact that fact the class fail, so this is a above average n only 14 ppls got 70% n higher. T_T I think I can really do better tho. I can't believe all my friends did better than me T__T LIke they did NO studying at all and they walk out with like a 70%

Our prof was like "most of these r all rubbish~ just rubbish~~" tho his Irish accent made it sound that much cooler, it's rubbish nonetheless. u_u It's kinda funny tho, his first comment to my first question was "I have no idea what you're talking about" n the second one was like "Very interesting and relevant but you'll always get negatively impaired if you do not do what I asked."

But the thing is, I DID DO WUT WAS ASK!! Maybe my tone can be better but it does look like a report!! I got it from Google and I use the same ones as all my friends, so I don't know what's that about. My friend said he'll lend me his A paper next week, cuz he has another exam with the same prof this week. <_< *sigh*

Anyways.... Time to get organize. Today is Thurs. I'll see if I can finish the research by 9. Watch Nikita, do bible study and write the ISSUE report and send it to my group.

Mix Feelings

I know I made the right decision. Even if it's wrong, there's no such thing when it comes to business. You make decisions right. That's how it works.

*sigh* SOO MUCH TO DO! Still, I went shopping today with Ranny, it's for a presentation, so it still counts as work. ^^ll *sigh* In terms of a relationship tho lol, that's done and moving on. I don't know~ I say I move on and stuff but I don't know.... I don't know why I am having doubts or second thoughts. Oh heart~ why don't you make any sense? So stubborn and undisciplined. You need to be more like a brain.

Either way, been listening to Pink lately. I actually find her really really like really talented. o_o

Current Music? Sober - Pink

so so sad

I feel like I flunked the OD exam today. I am soooo sad right now. FIrst was the ISSUE presentation and now the OD exam. T____T I am sooo sad, I even polished my nails black. Sigh~ I sooo needs to get perfect on my PSY exam. O God help me. I thought I'll have a really good chance to get an A+ too T___T now Im not even sure if I can get a B+. T__________T sooo down rite now, wanna lock myself in my room.

Ranny ask me to go out with him on Sat. I'm actually not interested in seeing him but I am interested in expanding my network. sigh u__u I don't know..... Exam on Sunday and I look like crap. sighhhhhhhh I'm just sooo sad right now...

so little time so much to do

I fell down the stairs yesterday~ really hurt my arm. >_< But I'm ok, my poor arm tho, I got like a two inch black/purple bruise T_T it's going away though with the help of ultra balm but yeaaa


GOt sooooooo much to do~ sigh~ n happy bday to my sister~ she didn't seem like she had a good time, probably cuz she had her exam today. yea... omg I have sooo much stuff to do~ better go.

>_>

I don't know what the deal is but I am soooo annoy right now and this guy, supposive friend, wouldnt stop bothering me. omg~~~ he is sooo needy and soooo slow in getting things u know what I mean. He wouldnt stop talking to me and that little flashy blue thing of msn is bothering me, so I reply n he would say something stupid >_______> *sigh*

omg reading week is ending already~ I am so sad, so not ready for school yet~ so much to do!! OMG STUPID OSAP IS SO GAY LOCKED ME OUT PERMENTALY! Why is these govnerment site soooo retarded. Also the Yorku's book appointment site where ur suppose to book these htings online HAS NO BOOKING BUTTONS! u know what that means?

Yorku: yes, look at all these slots we have in this week~ FOOL YA U CAN'T BOOK ANY!! we are on crack~

>________> I don'[t know y I am so tense rite now, I think it's cuz I'm piss at all the electronics in the house and Jordan for BOTHERING me NONSTOP this ENTIRE week. How many times have I say I am not going to skating? Were you even listening? if not, then let's stop talking! See again, he is asking me if I know how to skate? Like DUH! BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I do not WANT to go!!!!!

omg sigh... n y is dinner to late today? like where did my parents go? >______>

I put Gummy's I'm sorry on repeat so I can hear Sanadara say sry for something that she didn't do >___> it's too bad it's in korean.

thxgiving~~~

So it's reading week, meaning no school for a week 'cause exams are near~~

I just want to take this time to thank God for the things in life. The following are one of many many items/aspect that I am thankful for.

1. Family~ they're nuts sometimes, especially my parents and particularly a certain person there but lol~ I know they aren't perfect, not even close, but some people would die to have parents. They also had really touch childhoods and are really hardworking to provide for the family.

2. Esther, she helps me so much with life and coping with the parents so she deserve her own little line lol

3. Ranny~~ he too deserves this space lol. Even though we broke up, he's always there for me, never judged, he's just amazing~ Knowing him was such a blessing.

4. My Boss - need I say more?

5. Education - yes, I thank GOd for having 6 classes. Before, every damn class was full, couldnt get into anything, but now I have 6!!! X_X

6. My friends~ Britt, Joyce, Micah, lol and so on~ You know who you are ^-^!!! Thx for all the luv

7. MY stuff: laptop, bed, pillows, paper, gu zheng, stuff animals, clothes, water, food, shelter, and so on~

hm~ I've been having weird dreams lately... Don't remember what they are but weird~ Anyways, before I get back to work u_u I want to thank God cuz omg I got 90% on my proposal!! THe one with the crazy progquest!! Everyone else (so far like 5 other people) that I know got 50%. His comment was "I wish there were more proposals that look like your's" so I am veryyyy thankful. ALso for the expereice write up thing, my professior wrote a comment to me he said something suppose to be encouraging I guess. I am not sure if I fully understand it. Professors always forget that they speak an entirely different language form the student u_u~ Oh well~ I got perfect on that experince paper ^^ but so did everyone else lol~ *sigh* so yea~ Good start this year ^-^



Current Music: I'm Yours - Jason Marz

I SO FRIGIN HATE THIS LAPTOP~ IT'S SOOO VIRUS-INAFFECTED THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE~ OMG I HAVE THIS PROPOSAL THAT IS DUE VERY SOON!! IN LIKE A DAY N STUPID COMP IS BEING SO SLOW~ THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING STUPID THAT THEY CAN LOAD THE FRIGIN PAGE!! N THAT "FRIEND" HASNT REPLY ME N UPDATE ME WITH WHAT I MISS IN CLASS!! OMG LIKE I STRUGGLED SO MUCH IF I SHOULD HELP HER N NOW ITS LIKE SHE DOESNT WANNA HELP NE CUZ SHE GONNA FAIL >_> well maybe not fail, but not doing well.... omg.... I'm really scare rite now... n I forgot my cell at Auntie Peggy's house T_T so I cant call her either... omg... X_X What should I do T_T

Current Music: suki de suki de suki de - Koda Kumi

BDay

So a lot of ppls/friends wonder wut I did for my bday, so I'm just gonna annouce it on my blog what I did on Oct 2nd.

I worked with my group at school till 11:30pm n forgot to have dinner.


The persentation is finally over, but I'm still sooo stress. So I took a day off today, not sure if it's a good idea, cuz I have to hang in my work assignment to my boss tomorrow and I havent started X_X I just couldnt work today, that persentation sucked me dry. It was 4 days (like 8/9amish) n 4 nites (11/12pm, 1/2/3amish), I skipped so many meals, I even skipped class to work on it. It was the most intense group work I have ever done so far. Fourth year classes are SOOOO demanding T_T Like I honestly don't have time for anything else. Speaking of now, I am sooo screw for tomorrow, but my brain is just not functioning. I need at least one day to recover from that one week of intensity.

I;ll have to get started after I finish this blog. I have some ideas that I wanna work with but I don't know how the market research is gonna go about. ANyways~~ let's not talk about the boring stuff, ogmomgomgomg~ sO I went out with my lil sis today to the mall n did some shopping rite~ n then after that, Ranny called me <3 He remembered that it was my bday (or more like belated bday) so he treated me n my sister dinner o_o Yeah~ lolol my lil sis thinks he's good looking n gave me a thumb up lol~ It's too bad that we have no plans of getting back together anytime soon~ it's for the best tho I think~ he'll partying, meeting other girls n building that network~ go to the states, study , work~ I'm sure his name will be well-known one day~ n there's no way I'm loosing to him ~~~


must get back to work now~ *sigh* dunno y~ but I miss him already lolol~ ok getting back to work now~ for real~

Music: Overprotected - Britney Spears

extremely annoyed

Just came back from my group meeting and I won't say I'm angry or anything, but I am offended by this guy in my group. Yeah~ we're friends and all, even from before, he just annoys me too much. I don't understand why everytime we talk, he has to lecture me about something that is none of his business. Even if he is tryign to help me, give me advice and stuff, I don't think he has enough expereince to know da heck he's saying. He's just improvisating some sh*t out.

So yesterday, I already had enough with him. When he was like "omg! This is like bothering me! Do let people push you around, omg~ can't up for yourself. You gotta woman up man! WOMAN UP!"

Thanks to my friend Micah, calling him made me so much better now. He had a bad day too apparently~ *sigh* I just wish that guy can stop being so fake and so twoface and act like he knows it all. Also, Kristina is wayyyy too good for him.

Time's flying

I cannot believe that reading week is arleady next week~ omg.. I have sooooo much to do, sooo much to read T_T This stupid persentation on Wed is taking up all my time. Been working with my group all day from like 8ish 9ish am to 10/11/12ish pm even to 1am (sometimes) every night for the past week. I don't even have time to work on my assignment from my boss~

hatehatehate york

I FRIGIN HATE YORK SOO MUCH AND THEIR STUPID ADMIN AND THEIR STUPID INTERNET N THEIR STUPID EMAIL!! Honestly!!! >_________>

I hate this.

omg~ I wanna cry~ Hate doing research, it was never my thing. I don't even know what to do, that database that he told us to do is SOO FRIGIN USELESS!! NEVER HAD I SEEN A DATABASE SO USELESS B4! He can't even find a method thatworks for his example, like how are we suppose to find ours if he cant find his.

I don't understand a thing that's going on. God help me T___T

wow

I think I might need more friends ~

Guu

Why am I always hungry?

Nikita

Enough of the scare~ I'm so fed up with the negativity around this blog. Let's talk about something else~ Like my current fav. series <3 NIKITA~ Starring Maggie Q and Shane something... Luv the story, tho the lines arent as Glee, the actions/guns are not bad. :D I think I found my inner Nikita today. lol

Listening to a lot of Beyonce these dayz. Not in love with her or anything but she's such a star. So bright and dominant~ her voice is so emotional, lyrics are so meaningful (some of them), her heart is soo soulful? lol

Better get back to my assignment. Seeing my employer tomorrow. Lots to talk about... *sigh*

Current Music: If I Was A Boy - Beyonce

My mentor/employer called again regarding the tutor issue. We talked, or more like she talked, and yeah~ I have nothing to say... I'm just tried.. She gave me some new orders: drop the tutor find a new qualify tutor by Oct. If not, she will take over but not charge me.

I don't know what to do or what's right? Whatever she wants to do conflicts with my parents' interest. u_u sigh~ Just when I'm sooo down about it, I went biblegateway cuz I have it save as my fav lol n bam~

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”- Romans 5:3-4

I don't know if that means I should keep or drop my tutor, but at least it sound comforting.

Being Compared

Why do we do it? It's like comparing apples with oranges ~ they're both friuts but u know u can't do that, so why compare people? isn't that the same logic?

So last night, my mentor/employer/boss/second mom/sister/friend/family-friend? (I don't even know what to call her anymore) called me and she said blahblahblah~ She had lots of good points, her thinking is correct~ but then all of a sudden, she said to me "o no~ Cory just left IBM, I wanted you to come meet him! So you can see the differences." This is acutally the second time she told me this. The first time she said it, I took it as a joke (it wasn't funny tho). So I said "Isn't it obivious?" Then she went on, "o~ I want u to meet this other girl in IBM, she is just like you BUT... blahblahblah~ I want you to see the differences." >__>

Okay, I get your point. YOu want me to see how much I suck in comparison to IBM's stellar employees. Great... But it's best if we don't meet at all, I already have this urge to make that girl cry. I just can not be compare, especially to another girl. Urg~ I think is my nature of extreme competitivness that made it seem like it's a big deal.

I think the real question is that if you love IBM's stellar employees so much, why don't you just convince them to work for you instead? I know you can do it? Why don't you mentor them instead and treat them ice-cream? If you're not satisfy with me, then drop me already.

Words like those really bothers me. Is like I want them to disappear. *sigh* u_u Then again, it's not really their fault....

WoW

Havent blog for so long. Cant believe I forgot the pw and then accidently got in somehow. lol
Soo much happened~ Still got lots of unfinish business to do. O~ I'm gonna post pics like I promised months ago lolol~

Moving into my sister's room~ packing

lol my bro lololol~

remen~

Brit's ramen~

b4 we leave Canada

wanna blog more but eblog is being gay~ it's not letting me type wherever I wanna so that's it for today. *hum* >_>

HK

I still have jet lag but it's not as bad as before. I only get up at 5am instead of like 3am. lol~ I'm soo tired to seeing ppls everywhere. I don't wanna see anymore relatives x_x *sigh* I want more dayz of breaks >_<>_> *sigh* Leaving HK this friday for china. Kinda nervous n kinda glad at the same thing.

A few more days left~

wow havent blog for a very long time.... Been really really busy, still got A LOT to do.

sooo....

1) Fix next year's schedule
- call the psy department
- find another humanity course

2) Finish packing my room

3) Pack for China

4) Help my boss with files and letters (tomorrow 8 am)

5) Ranny's coming over to pick up my spare gu zheng

6) Renewing this account thing

X________X

I'm leaving on Thurs. morning so not much time left >_____<
I also got some new songs to listen to ^-^ well~ it's not new but I finally got a hold of them yay~

'_'

Today's meeeting didn't go well. u_u I'm just kinda fustrated @ everything. Micah sure cheer me up tho, him and his gay jokes lolol. *sigh* School is starting very soon again. I had never thought of the importance of marks until recently. I think my boss really drill it into my head. u_u I'm so tired...... I'll post the pics up later x_x, when Alex post those pics I'll post.

Got a doctor appointment tomorrow so prolly wont be online till later.

Lady Gaga So Happy I Could Die

I don't know why, but it makes me happy in a sad way. I have no idea what the song is talking about but it kinda cheers me up a little from this chaos right now. lol

Really wanna go shopping again. Didn't get enough lol I just wanna get away for awhile and just think thing through. Too much is going on~ Just got my new work assignment and meeting, the possibility of moving just got knock down, plans to clean the house, short term mission trip, the GuangDong trip with uncle, still trying to figure out some course selection out, that boy's health condition and so on >_< I'm so tired... I'll post pics up later, dun have my cell with me.

Music: Lady Gaga So Happy I Could Die - Lady Gaga

So In Love~~

() M g~ I'm sooo in love with my bf lol ^-^ My bf (best friend) Britt~ is sooo amusing!! and totally awesome!! I think I fell in love with this new shop that I usually never go to. Can't wait to see her in Oct u_u (hopefully she's coming back for our bday celebration) if not I'll be seeing her in Christmas. >_<>_> THe mom luvs talking but she never say her point. She would just repeat over and over again, go back to unfinish ideas, then lags awhile, and so on.... u_u I can't believe I have the patient to seat through it for over 30 minutes. I think it comes from that trainning from my boss. x_x So then, went to this other mall by myself and did bit of shopping. Didn't get anything tho, I only got "that" lol~ omg~ Im sooo in luv with Britt~ lol and did I mention that I'm in love with this (b) friend Brittany? She's just amazing~ I'll miss her sooo much when she;s gone. T^T

n yea.. just got news that these I guess friends who are (I think) really really clingy is clinging with us to ShangHai after the english camp in Yangshou >___> I don't know but this is getting annyoing kinda, cuz the ShangHai thing is suppose to be a family thing, n these 2 ppls (kids) are just tagging along when they can go to Tawian with the rest of the campers. >__>

Cancelled

I was going to have my lesson today. I even cleaned my gu zheng and was planning to bring it to my teacher for tuning after so long. But a friend of my parents' (excuse my language, dumbfounded) son decided to do something crazy and hit his head. He is now in the hopsital and the doctors are preparing for the surgrey. The thing is, hopstials' doctors/ nurses don't treat patients until after they waited for about 6 hours, even if they got hit by a car and lost half of their body/face, it's like it's in their norm or something to be always lagging. So apparently (I think) he got treated almost immdiately which also means that it could very much be a life and death situation. *sigh* I'm not very fond of him but I really do hope he'll survive and live differently from now on. I just didn't like how dad was trying to blame it on Jojo. If that was suppose to be funny, it really wasn't. It was just plain immature, this has nothing to do with Jojo. That guy was already kinda crazy to begin with and is not like Jojo was a good friend of his, to say that it was Jojo's influence that caused this accident just arg annoying and down-right wrong >_> omg~ and the way how Jojo handled this false-accusation mad things even worse. He just made it even more convincing that he was the guy to blame, exactly what my father wanted perhaps? I don't know.

So Jojo and Esy had mandarin class today. I had to go too but I couldnt just cancel my teacher. Nobody understand why I have to go to gu zheng class u_u. ANyways, so I couldnt go to the manadrin and they can't drive me to gu zheng class cuz it's at opposite direction and the time was conflicting, which was fine. Esy and jojo takes one car, and my dad and I will take the other car. Suppose to anyways, but my dad couldn't drive at this moment, for real legit reasons. His friend wants him to go to the hopsital with him, he even ofter to drive him there. So it's alrite, you'll think my mom can drive me right? WRONG. I guess she really wants to be there for her friend too. So she told dad to drive me to gu zheng and that friend can bring her instead. So they argued for a bit. Dad offer to drive me at the end, but it'll be really risky with his current condition. I was uncomfortable with this idea and so was mom. Still, mom tried to get esy to drive me there, but it just don't make sense. She told her to just drop me off nearby and I can just walk there since I still have time. After class's done, I can walk to some McDonald and stay for there an hour or so. Or, I can just wait in my teacher's house for an hour, she wouldn't mind. >____> *sigh* I actually don't mind walking and I rather stay out at night then having to bother my teacher and bring her any kinds of inconvience. But I need to bring my gu zheng today for tuning and there's no way I can carry that around. u_u

So mom was really pissed at whatever she was pissed at. So the aruging went on for a bit until I stepped in and offer to call my teacher for a cancellation. My dad said no, it's unnecessary, besides it's not very nice to cancel someone 20 mins earlier. I went upstair while they argued some more. Finally, my father came up and told me to cancel it.

I called~ My teacher was very understanding, I told her about the situation, and she was very nice about it. Although she did sound a bit annoyed~ what does it matter though, I'm the one who has to talk to her, not mom, she wouldn't know. >_> So I told them that I cancelled it and my mom was SOOOO happy. <_< if I just quit gu zheng altogether, I wonder if that'll make her happier.

What I don't understand is that why wont she drive me and then go to the hopstial herself. She thought Jojo was crazy for suggesting this idea, like omg go to the hopstial myself, are you high? Like why not? *sigh* With all due respect to my mom, I just think that she should be more respectful to my teachers, she take things for granted way too easily. Me and my process/ learning is never a proity to her. She only wants to receive the praise and glory from her peers but always gives me the feeling that she don't want to pay for my lessons. >_> *sigh*

I don't know. u_u This is the last straw though. If this happens one more time, I will have to confront her. >_> and I don't know, I don't believe in the sorries anymore. x_x

Chasing.

I know it's not about where you're gonna be, the things you're gonna have, the harvest when it comes to life and being sucessful, it's about who u'll become ~ but right now, at this moment, I really feel like I need all that. I need a bigger space, a neater, a more positive enviornment to help me think. I just can't wait anymore. At this rate, we're all gonna be staying here. T^T Really really really wanna move. I want my own space. u_u *sigh* I still have to loan from OSAP and pay them back after I gard. T_T I really want a high paying job. I feel like those fishes in those supermarket. Caged with 6 other big fishes in the same space and everyone is like in your face all the time. *sigh* Study harder. Work harder. Train harder. Forget modelling, dancing, bento boxes, bejewel, music, and my love for anything else. What makes me happy right now is that space and if that's the price, I am prepare to pay it.

What we face may look insurmountable. But I learned something from all those years of training and competing. I learned something from all those sets and reps when I didn't think I could lift another ounce of weight. What I learned is that we are always stronger than we know. Arnold Schwarzenegger



Before I go to sleep and start fresh tomorrow, I just want to add this item to my prayer list tonight. Although I don't know her, a friend of my bf is a friend mine. Tho there's absoutely nothing I can do to ease the pain, I shall remember it in prayers.

Music: I Dreamed A Dream - Glee

Redo

Got home at almost 1 am yesterday from the meeting... *sigh* just do my best I guess...

I'm not feeling so well right now. Maybe I only got 6 hours of sleep today? Maybe I talked too much during baddy? omg~ Seriously, my employer is like starting some type of cult lol, I mean I always knew wanted to start them but she never fails to amuse me. She made this herbal type of tea thing that smelled sooo nasty~ she said~ "only Christians can drink it" lol omg, I think I forgot it in the subway on the way home, I didn't get to have a zip lolol

Ranny wasnt home u_u, I think he was out with his friends. He did call me back but I was too focus on research, didn't even notice the vib. form my cell. >_> FB Stalked him a bit, just to see how he's doing. I then found this little Rita girl lol Just a friend? or just got friendlier? They'll be going out to see a movie n such. Thing is, this girl is 14. What is Ranny thinking? lolol But w.e~ do wut u want, it's yr life~ It'll bee really really weird to see Ranny with a little girl tho, like 6/7 years age gap. I dun wanna think about it anymore~ too weird~

Extremely Annoyed

Where do I start? Jojo's a sad baby hypocrite with a fat-ass big mouth who vomits slander. His words reflect exactly who he is as a person. Dumbfounded, rude, immature~ o~ it descirbes him so well~ Anyways moving on, he's just a jealous angry little boy who has no place nor business here.

So~ Mom's computer is too retarded to function. Both my mouse are broken. My laptop is currently and has been really gay. Things are just going so well until STUPID COMP DIDNT SAVE MY WORK AFTER I PRESSED SAVE EVERY 15 MIN!! So I lost everything that I was doing today. So nvm, I'm not even close to half done anymore. All thanks that retarded piece of junk that can't even save properly. I'm all down with getting back to work but with a broken mouse? I can always borrow from the other 6 family members, but honestly, I don't want their help.

>_> *sigh* Just gotta suck it up and do it all over again. Still kinda piss. Have to teach baddy to little kids too, I think I'm just gonna make them do laps for I dunno 20 minutes? n get them to do warm up for another 10 mins? Then finally throw birdies at them for the remaining 30 mins. >_> I don't even know where that place is and the TTC service on sat is such a joke. <_<

Too bad Alex's offline >_>, if he's online I wouldnt have typed so much. Brit's gone now too. T^T I just hope Ranny's home tonite u_u

So I didn't blog yesterday~ but I did took a few pictures. My parents' friend from HK came and they all contribute to this extremely annoyed blog. I don't think I would have been so annoyed if my parents didnt ask me to do some pretty annoying stuff. I had Gu Zheng lesson too right after and as a result of my bro driving >_> we got lost and so I was late.

Sometimes I just think my mom's being really disrepectable to my teachers >_> o the stuff she ask me to do to them... sigh u_u she just doesn't know better w.e~ Lame excuse~ N so they pick me up like 20ish mins late, I took some other pics.

D.o.C.t.O.r

Wow~ I'm blogging almost every single day, it's really scaring me. I blame market research, it's sooo much work T_T~ *sigh* I guess work is still better than no work. Anyways~ Moving on~ I went to the doctor today to get my shot. <_< It was like whatever, just get it over with it~

I'm not sure why, but I have this huge biase against my family doctor and just doctors and nurses in general. From my experience, family doctor, normal doctor, specialized doctors, and so on, are pretty much all the same. Why? Because they are some of the most uncaring people you'll ever meet. As lease for me, this is the case~

I detest doctors so much (God forbid) if I ever get cancer or whatever. I would rather die then go see them. I know it's a bit too extreme, but it's somewhat true. I would do almost anything to avoid seeing a doctor. I think I even ran away from a doctor once to avoid getting a shot lol. I know their own lives are stressful and insane but the way they treat people are just so ironic, so unprofessional. Patients to them are just another item waiting to be check off. They only spend so much time and money to be a doctor is 'caues of family pressure to achieve this supposive respectable occupation that'll bring honour to the family and their own interest in experimenting with life.

So, I've finally decided to see a specialized doctor after visiting the pharmacist today. I gotta book my appointment asap too, have to go to HK soon. Even though I really dislike that doctor as well, I trust my pharmacist's professionlism and his overall character. He's honestly one of the nicest guy I have ever met. Compare to those doctor fools who only knows their little section of the book and nothing else, he is such an amazing pro. Even though this is my second time seeing him, I truely truely respect him. I will take his advice to revisit that specialist dude. I have so far rejected everyone's advice on seeing that >_> dude (just mainly mom, family, and mom's friends), hopefully I won't be disappointed with the results. <_<

Funny Day

So yesterday's supposive meeting was rearrange to today due to unforseen circumstances. However, unforseen circumstances remains unforseen and so I was pick up an hour and 15 mins later than the orginal time. Knowing that my boss is indeed a busy woman, her schedule is pack with meetings after meetings, I waited patiently of course. :P Now comes the funny part~ The person who pick me up had to buy milk for my boss and she has another meeting right after mine. So we went to a supermarket pretty close by my house right~ All was well untill when we came back to the car! It wouldn't start. I was holding a box with 4 bags of milk while the guy was trying to get his car to start. Apparently super hot weather can mess up your car. To make matters more amusing, he forgot to bring his cell andI left mine at home 'cause I had to leave in such a rush. Luckily, there was a pay-phone that works in the plaza. We quickly called to notify her of the situation. She was going to come save us BUT the guy had her car keys! lol So we were stuck there with with milk at 32 degree. I was like melting x_x Thankfully, the car finally started working. It was too late though still, my boss was already late for her next meeting. So he drove me back home and they called like at 11 somthing pm and told me that they're coming right now, then we held the meeting, in the car. >_> I was watching a movie too at that time. Oh well~ wow it's almost 1am, I still have to wash dishes. o_o

Current Music: Stick Wit U - PCD

gasp~ I'm blogging again o_o

So for the past fews days/weeks, there's something that kinda bothers me. I finally have some time out from work and other important personal matters (staying #1. in bejewel :P) to type it out. I don't really know where to begin >_> life's just complicated.

1) I don't get how people can be so comfortable with posting private pictures on fb? Private as in the type of photos that Miley Cyrus pulled, which included the "hey I look good in underwear~" and the " baby I'm semi-naked" type of pics? I thought only Milye Cyrus and physco wannabes of Cyrus are willing to post their pics like that shamelessly. But I guess I thought wrong, I just don't understand why a certain someone >_> would do that... *sigh* and the following comments were just so wrong. >_> It is your life though and although I'm in no position to judge you, I hope you are prepare for whatever consequences that those uploads might bring you. Oh and please~ don't think by blocking me on fb, I will not have access to your fb.





I'll leave the rest for later. If I have time :P too hungry~

Summer Retreat

It was alright~ It could have been worse so thank GoD! We didn't do much cept movies and basketball. The food was good, our rooms were okay, the place could have been better, but meh~ It's a good getaway from work T_T~ Speaking of which, I should really get back to it. Meeting on Monday again T_T sighh... I'm really trying to convince myself that I really want this work expereince. It's for the sake of my resume and a really good reference~It'll be a big step toward my career in HR later x_x I really want this~ even if I don't get pay T_T Yet, I can't help complaining lol T_T The tasks that I was ask to do just doesn't seem realistic u_u, but who wants to agrue with their boss? *sigh* u_u Just hang in there I suppose... x_x It's only for just July.

I'm also being distracted by really cool sephora stuff. lol Found some really well-reviewed product that I am interested in, but they're all kinda expensive. I am willing to bet on these products but my sister thinks I should get a sample first. SO do they just randomly give out free samples? o.O I don't go shopping often, or at all. lol

ANyways~ here are some pics for that place~ :P enjoy~

The first day~ it looked nothing like this a day later lololol ~

A close up.... lol

The CarWash FundRasing Activity~~we didn't have enough resources, so instead of staying under the sun cleaning, I was cheering for them in the shade~ ^-^ I gave words of encouragment like "go sis~ go~ if u cant do it no one can" n "hey, sis u missed a spot~ " >_> n then she started throwing things at me~ ooo good times~
This is my teammate who asked me to help him take a pic during his car washing break :P

and that's it for today~

Blog

Things To Do List

1. The Promotional Plan
2. Workshop
3. Packing
4. >_> Go out for dinner~
5. Make Bento Box ^-^