._.

Why is Esther so defensive of our parents? She's like aggressively defensive. Just one word that suggest our parents are bad parents and she goes ballistic. She did admit several times that our parents are definitely not the best, but what does it matter? No matter how much you try to protect them it's not gonna help if they themselves don't care. So get off my case~ You have absolutely no knowledge to judge or say anything. Until you walk in my shoes, any comments/ arguments you make is going to be invalid to me. It's going to make you look like a fool, because your eyes are blind.

I know being parents are tough, but maybe they should think about that before having all 5 kids? Perhaps my "friend" brainwashed me, but she's right. And don't even pretend like you are interested in me, all these sappy-love talk just makes me laugh. I rather you people just don't love me at all than confuse me with your ultra-mix signals.

Love me conveniently. Love me minimally. Love me conditionally. These garbage words goes in to a relationship and it comes right out. I rather you ppls be completely cold with me.



Once or twice I ran away from home when I was 6/7ish, and you know what, I still want to. Sometimes I want to cut all ties with them. Sometimes I just can't stand them. Other times, they just don't exist to me. There are even times when I just want to disappear, and I came close once, too close. Who knew what would have happen to me? It's funny how till now, they still know nothing. It wasn't that long ago that I was kidnap in the mall, didn't know about that huh? and you'll never know anything, because you don't care enough. All my closest friends knew, but you are among the outsiders, the passerby, the extras in a movie that wish they were somebody.
In the past, you ppls were somebody. Now? You ppls lost it. I don't know if you realize this, but ur slowly being replace. There's an ambitious woman (aka my boss) in my life and she has already step up to replace you ppls. Her impact are 100% bigger and stronger than your 21 years influence (mostly negative).

Take care of yourselves.
I can't say I'll be there.
I know you're sorry, and I am too.