Haven't blogged forever. I'm really tired, I have work tomorrow but I really need to let this out. This anger that's been suppressed inside of me need to get out.
For the longest time, I had been in a love hate relationship with a good friend of mine. As tough as she was to me and as cruel her choice of words are, she turn my head to a new path. She teared me apart and helped restored a new me. A stronger and slightly more smarter and hardworking me.
Still, she seems to have a problem with unperfect things. And me, being far from perfect, always fell to her judgement and criticism. I do believe that friends helps each other gets better by helping each other to realize the mistake you make but is it necessary to be critical in everything?
She probably disapprove of my badminton friends.Well.. I know she dislike my family. I know she hated my ex. I don't even know why we are still friends. She disapprove everything around me and hates the way I treat her. I am just so confuse... Why is she still holding onto me?
All in all, I already had a not so great day at work and I just don't want additional unnecessary negativity. I know what I'm doing. Anyway, I'm too tired. Sleep time.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Tired Eyes and Cold Feet
In life, we are dealt with certain cards - some good, some not so good. There are definitely some really cool cards in my hand but there are also some really bad cards in my hand. For example, my naturally dried eyes. It poses a problem when I got lots to do but my eyes are just really tired. It happens quite often. Perhaps the light is too dim or I have been looking at the screen for too long, but the work still needs to get done. I also have cold feet. Even now, my cold feed makes me not want to because I can feel them going numb.
The doctor say that yes - I do have vision issues where my eyes is lacking oxygen and hormones problems that causes my feet to be really cold. Both of these conditions are like a disability that hidden me from doing what I want to be doing. For example, I can only read for a certain period of time in my room before my vision start blurring in and out. But today at Toastmaster, our newest member did his first speech today and he said something very inspiring. (Well... Actually his entire speech was very inspiring). He said that this world is merciless. Tears would not help you. You gotta be strong. I think this is very true. Even though I have these conditions, the world only looks at your results, regardless how sad your story seems. I find him a very admirable guy - doesn't look too bright, speaks somewhat slow, but is actually very intelligent. His attitude, work ethics and thinking is what I can really learn from - I don't need Elle too tell me to know.
Even though I'm unemployed, I seems to have a lot on my plate. People don't seems to realize but I actually got a lot to do. I should really be grateful about it too, shouldn't I?
Anyway I wants to start blogging more. Jim Rohn thinks its good English practice and helps reflection. He also said a lot of things but it's what I can remember right now. X_X
The doctor say that yes - I do have vision issues where my eyes is lacking oxygen and hormones problems that causes my feet to be really cold. Both of these conditions are like a disability that hidden me from doing what I want to be doing. For example, I can only read for a certain period of time in my room before my vision start blurring in and out. But today at Toastmaster, our newest member did his first speech today and he said something very inspiring. (Well... Actually his entire speech was very inspiring). He said that this world is merciless. Tears would not help you. You gotta be strong. I think this is very true. Even though I have these conditions, the world only looks at your results, regardless how sad your story seems. I find him a very admirable guy - doesn't look too bright, speaks somewhat slow, but is actually very intelligent. His attitude, work ethics and thinking is what I can really learn from - I don't need Elle too tell me to know.
Even though I'm unemployed, I seems to have a lot on my plate. People don't seems to realize but I actually got a lot to do. I should really be grateful about it too, shouldn't I?
Anyway I wants to start blogging more. Jim Rohn thinks its good English practice and helps reflection. He also said a lot of things but it's what I can remember right now. X_X
Monday, February 25, 2013
Its Alright, Its Ok
lol This song.... reminds me of Target.
"It's Alright, It's Ok"
"It's Alright, It's Ok"
You told me
there's no need
To talk it out
Cause its too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words
And walked away
No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Don't waist you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's Way to late
I'm closing the door
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
It's Alright, OK
Alright, OK
Without you
No matter what you say
It's Alright, OK
Alright, OK
Without you
I won't be sorry
there's no need
To talk it out
Cause its too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words
And walked away
No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I'm broken
But still I have to say
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn't help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Don't waist you fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It's Way to late
I'm closing the door
It's Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
Alright, OK
So don't you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I'm stronger now
Alright, OK
I'm so much better without you
I won't be sorry
It's Alright, OK
Alright, OK
Without you
No matter what you say
It's Alright, OK
Alright, OK
Without you
I won't be sorry
-Ashley Tisdale
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Crying Again
I think aside from my bf, there isn't anyone in the world who can hurt me like my father. When my mom say hurtful stuff, I just brush it off my shoulder, roll my eyes and wonder when is she going to stop talking. When my dad say hurtful stuff, he strips away my dignity and pride.
What happened was during the sharing time of bible study, my father asked if I need the car tomorrow to go to school and I was like "no, the bf is picking me up." I also made a little joke "Im giving him more chances to drive me around." Mom and Esy cheered, and dad nodded, agreeing to what I said but raised his voice in all seriousness and said this "YOU KNOW, IT FEELS AS THOUGH YOU'RE REALLY CHEAP."
---
How can you say that? Do you really feel that way about me? Cheap? Not worthy? Because I'm a girl and I go out? I drive? I pick up my bf if I see the need to? Somehow, his words really hurt me. I can't stop crying.
I just think that he doesn't have to drive me at all to places? My mind is filled with nothing but counter hurtful insults. I think they just want me to go and stop living off them. I don't know what I'm going to do. Right now, I can say I can I really dislike them.
Slow to anger, quick to listen and slow to speak.
What happened was during the sharing time of bible study, my father asked if I need the car tomorrow to go to school and I was like "no, the bf is picking me up." I also made a little joke "Im giving him more chances to drive me around." Mom and Esy cheered, and dad nodded, agreeing to what I said but raised his voice in all seriousness and said this "YOU KNOW, IT FEELS AS THOUGH YOU'RE REALLY CHEAP."
---
How can you say that? Do you really feel that way about me? Cheap? Not worthy? Because I'm a girl and I go out? I drive? I pick up my bf if I see the need to? Somehow, his words really hurt me. I can't stop crying.
I just think that he doesn't have to drive me at all to places? My mind is filled with nothing but counter hurtful insults. I think they just want me to go and stop living off them. I don't know what I'm going to do. Right now, I can say I can I really dislike them.
Slow to anger, quick to listen and slow to speak.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Sigh... Even though I'm in soo much s**t, I feel so light and happy. It's like nothing can bring me down. Not even failing a G test// no thanks to this b***h car on my left hand side that want to do a right turn (INFRONT OF ME!!) No signal, no checking, just high speed and lots of luck! Cuz I came so close to hitting it.
I'm a lil mad, but I think I miss my bf the most. I know it's random, but what can I say. I feel so lucky and I just want to do better. <3 p="p">
I really don't know how I did on my last 2 exams but I got 2 more to do~ So that's it for today!!
I'm a lil mad, but I think I miss my bf the most. I know it's random, but what can I say. I feel so lucky and I just want to do better. <3 p="p">
I really don't know how I did on my last 2 exams but I got 2 more to do~ So that's it for today!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas List
Omg I think Im going broke, but here's what I got for Christmas lool~
Stuff I got for myself (I got stuff for others too! )
1. The Little Black Dress @ H&M
2. Nail package stuff @ Secret
3. hair mask @ body shop
4. Hair detangle spray? @ body shop
5. Skin booster? @ body shop
6. clutch/small bag @ Zara <3<3<3
7. 2 pairs of jeans @ F21
8. 2 belts
9. 5 Playless necklace
Stuff that I got so far from other ppls that I know of lol:
- 2 DNKY shirts from Esther, small necklace and yummy chocolate candy
- warm slipper from Britt
- 16GB USB from the boyfriend <3 loool wut am I gonna do with all those Gs lool
- portable desk with desk lamp from Mom
- a cool vest, a dress, a tunic, and a chineseish-style shirt? from mom's friend
._. I don't have many friends and most of them r too poor n Im poor too~ X_X Praise the Lord though somehow I am able to afford these stuff, it's really amazing~
Stuff I got for myself (I got stuff for others too! )
1. The Little Black Dress @ H&M
2. Nail package stuff @ Secret
3. hair mask @ body shop
4. Hair detangle spray? @ body shop
5. Skin booster? @ body shop
6. clutch/small bag @ Zara <3<3<3
7. 2 pairs of jeans @ F21
8. 2 belts
9. 5 Playless necklace
Stuff that I got so far from other ppls that I know of lol:
- 2 DNKY shirts from Esther, small necklace and yummy chocolate candy
- warm slipper from Britt
- 16GB USB from the boyfriend <3 loool wut am I gonna do with all those Gs lool
- portable desk with desk lamp from Mom
- a cool vest, a dress, a tunic, and a chineseish-style shirt? from mom's friend
._. I don't have many friends and most of them r too poor n Im poor too~ X_X Praise the Lord though somehow I am able to afford these stuff, it's really amazing~
Bittersweet
wo~ havent blog for some time~ lool Just finished finals~ one more semester till I graduate (if all goes well) u_u *sigh* school can get so stressful if you know what I mean. lo *sigh* so it's like 5:52 am right now lol I got up at 4:50am this morning, cuz I just can't sleep.
I don't know how many times Im gonna tell but lol ranny's new gf don't want us to see each other ever again. It's reasonable and even if she wasnt being reasonable, it's Ranny's choice to get with her lol n I'll just leave him to it. lool. I can't help but be a little sad though, I mean he has been my closest fried (n still is) for half a almost a decade~ He's a really cool guy, I treasure him as my friend but lool she don't want us to be friends.
When Ranny told me a few weeks ago that we can only see each other at school from now on, I already knew what was up. He finally confirm it yesterday that his gf just dun want us to see each other ever again(not even in big group) so I was like, maybe invite her the next time~ It'll be fun! I have a bf too so I dun know what crack she's on~ jkin~ didn't say that but Idunno~ I feel kinda superior in a way cuz she seems to be inferior to me. lol I kinda like it too, it's like she's insecure and totally scare~ lol
we're still meeting up today though, lol I have to give him his Christmas present and his tunner (which he left in my gu zheng for like half a year) back. I don't mind keeping it for another half a a year or lool forevermore~ but I just thought he might want it back. He acts all so strange sometimes, giving me all these mix signals lool :P The price of keeping his gf :P That's how I know certain she's here to stay and not just a fling~ I wish him the best though <3 His gf/ relationship issues is not my problem lo~ cuz I'm not involve.
Anyway, I think I'm moving forward and already over it. I still love Ranny though (as a friend lo) I think there will always be a place for him, he made an impact in my life, shape it and I can't deny that. *sigh* lool Hence, I'm still blogging about him.
It's just bittersweet when I think about it. Every time I feel sad about it Kelly's Clarkson's new song just kick in!! :d Here's one of my fav! It's on repeat~
"The War Is Over"
I don't know how many times Im gonna tell but lol ranny's new gf don't want us to see each other ever again. It's reasonable and even if she wasnt being reasonable, it's Ranny's choice to get with her lol n I'll just leave him to it. lool. I can't help but be a little sad though, I mean he has been my closest fried (n still is) for half a almost a decade~ He's a really cool guy, I treasure him as my friend but lool she don't want us to be friends.
When Ranny told me a few weeks ago that we can only see each other at school from now on, I already knew what was up. He finally confirm it yesterday that his gf just dun want us to see each other ever again(not even in big group) so I was like, maybe invite her the next time~ It'll be fun! I have a bf too so I dun know what crack she's on~ jkin~ didn't say that but Idunno~ I feel kinda superior in a way cuz she seems to be inferior to me. lol I kinda like it too, it's like she's insecure and totally scare~ lol
we're still meeting up today though, lol I have to give him his Christmas present and his tunner (which he left in my gu zheng for like half a year) back. I don't mind keeping it for another half a a year or lool forevermore~ but I just thought he might want it back. He acts all so strange sometimes, giving me all these mix signals lool :P The price of keeping his gf :P That's how I know certain she's here to stay and not just a fling~ I wish him the best though <3 His gf/ relationship issues is not my problem lo~ cuz I'm not involve.
Anyway, I think I'm moving forward and already over it. I still love Ranny though (as a friend lo) I think there will always be a place for him, he made an impact in my life, shape it and I can't deny that. *sigh* lool Hence, I'm still blogging about him.
It's just bittersweet when I think about it. Every time I feel sad about it Kelly's Clarkson's new song just kick in!! :d Here's one of my fav! It's on repeat~
"The War Is Over"
I watch the days rush by me like a river
I shouldn't wait, but I'm scared to touch the water
I let the phone ring, why won't you believe me
I wait for silence, takes a lot not to answer
All I have to say is
You don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away
Cause you don't deserve me, and you're not worthy
And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I never been so sure
(The war is over) cause the war is over
I used to let you paint 'em pretty pictures
You got me caught up with your "you're my girl forever"
So I forgive you, it felt good when you hold me
Yeah you owned me
Now you wish you had really known me
All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy
And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I've never been so sure
(The war is over)
This is not my surrender
I'm not running for cover
I'm right here, I know you see me
But your words no longer defeat me
In the night when you're lonely
You remember how much you miss me
So you call, but I swear
You can try a million times, you'll get the same answer
All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy
And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
I shouldn't wait, but I'm scared to touch the water
I let the phone ring, why won't you believe me
I wait for silence, takes a lot not to answer
All I have to say is
You don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away
Cause you don't deserve me, and you're not worthy
And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I never been so sure
(The war is over) cause the war is over
I used to let you paint 'em pretty pictures
You got me caught up with your "you're my girl forever"
So I forgive you, it felt good when you hold me
Yeah you owned me
Now you wish you had really known me
All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy
And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I've never been so sure
(The war is over)
This is not my surrender
I'm not running for cover
I'm right here, I know you see me
But your words no longer defeat me
In the night when you're lonely
You remember how much you miss me
So you call, but I swear
You can try a million times, you'll get the same answer
All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy
And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
THe 8 Blessings and giving thanks
wow~ I haven't blog for so long and what a strange time I choose to blog~ The morning of my morning midterm exam.
I don't remember my password but blogger remembered and was already signed in. o_o Well... I've actually really want to blog about this last Sunday, I was just so touch and inspired by the morning service. It's a total revelation.
As you know, I got backstabbed by this so-call-friend of mine. Long story short, I felt hurt and betray. I remember calling Ranny and I told him how confused I was. It was as if everyone in his world was evil and got plans to step on you to get ahead. I have my fair share of those incidents. I never took it personally, until that day I guess, I had enough. As a result, I turned down the crappy job they had to offer and I went my own way. Me and K (lets call her that for now) are on longer friends, which neither of us care.
So the topic for that SUnday morning was this, from Matthew 5:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
On a random note :P lol
~I thank God for everything He has given me~
I don't remember my password but blogger remembered and was already signed in. o_o Well... I've actually really want to blog about this last Sunday, I was just so touch and inspired by the morning service. It's a total revelation.
As you know, I got backstabbed by this so-call-friend of mine. Long story short, I felt hurt and betray. I remember calling Ranny and I told him how confused I was. It was as if everyone in his world was evil and got plans to step on you to get ahead. I have my fair share of those incidents. I never took it personally, until that day I guess, I had enough. As a result, I turned down the crappy job they had to offer and I went my own way. Me and K (lets call her that for now) are on longer friends, which neither of us care.
So the topic for that SUnday morning was this, from Matthew 5:
3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
On a random note :P lol
~I thank God for everything He has given me~
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Lately~ I am tempted to purchase Adele's 21 o_o lol I don't know why but I've been listening to a lot of her music lately. I also want to watch 3D Glee X_X!! *sigh* My poor hard-earn-money~ THere are also these really cool hot blazer that I've been *_* but u know~ my room is kinda messy so until I clean I'm not getting anything. 'Sides it's really expensive >__> Like really really expensive *sigh* Maybe when I get a stable income then I can afford it.
So my father notice a change in behaviour in me~ He even called me out on it yesterday~ So whatever it is, it must be huge~ because my father usually don't notice anything about me really. Although I think I have my parents convinced that it's my demanding work that I am dating and perhaps the reason why I'm always so happy suddenly is because my boss has already driven me to insanity.
So my schedule looks hectic next week. I mean HECTIC! It's crazy, like I have to make time for family dinner. lol Not even bible study just eating at home. Maybe I should make more of an effort to spend more time with my family. So here's wut it looks like:
Monday - work, potluck dinner ^_<
Tuesday - badminton, chilling out with ya know~
Wednesday - work, tai chi, gu zheng (trying to fit everything in)
Thursday - gu zheng at night
Friday - maybe scrabble, maybe not
Saturday - Don't know yet
Sunday - Don't know yet
Hmm I need more time to practice gu zheng~ have to memorize some music x_X for Nov examination
Current Music: Set Fire To The Rain - Adele
So my father notice a change in behaviour in me~ He even called me out on it yesterday~ So whatever it is, it must be huge~ because my father usually don't notice anything about me really. Although I think I have my parents convinced that it's my demanding work that I am dating and perhaps the reason why I'm always so happy suddenly is because my boss has already driven me to insanity.
So my schedule looks hectic next week. I mean HECTIC! It's crazy, like I have to make time for family dinner. lol Not even bible study just eating at home. Maybe I should make more of an effort to spend more time with my family. So here's wut it looks like:
Monday - work, potluck dinner ^_<
Tuesday - badminton, chilling out with ya know~
Wednesday - work, tai chi, gu zheng (trying to fit everything in)
Thursday - gu zheng at night
Friday - maybe scrabble, maybe not
Saturday - Don't know yet
Sunday - Don't know yet
Hmm I need more time to practice gu zheng~ have to memorize some music x_X for Nov examination
Current Music: Set Fire To The Rain - Adele
Saturday, August 6, 2011
2 years after the departure of my first relationship, I found another. Although it still hurts so much to see Ranny with some girl, I'm finally slowly moving on. I created an illusion that I was over him long ago, had my life all planned out, so eager to see what's next. But it's only an illusion, those who know me knows that Im still hurting...
So today I was at a wedding. Lots of funny stuff happened, all I can say is that my friend really knows how to select flower boys. lol!~ Anyway, when I have my wedding some day, the only person I want to be thinking about is my future hubby. Although I still love Ranny and I don't think this love will die unless I die too, there is a bright warm future waiting and calling to me.
So today I was at a wedding. Lots of funny stuff happened, all I can say is that my friend really knows how to select flower boys. lol!~ Anyway, when I have my wedding some day, the only person I want to be thinking about is my future hubby. Although I still love Ranny and I don't think this love will die unless I die too, there is a bright warm future waiting and calling to me.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Confession
So my stats final is coming up right, I really need to study. Especially since I mad fail the midterm with half the class~ The class average was 59%.Even if they bell it up, it wouldn't do that good for me. u_u So I really need to get perfect in like everything.
Work-wise, I have SOOO much to do! Just so much on my plate. T_T Have to rush something done tonight for my one and only~ u_u *sigh*
Social Life? Seeing this friend of mine a lot lately o_o Like every other day. I see his parents too, I play badminton with his father. So I don't know~ I know he likes me tho I'm not sure if he's just playing or what not. Frankly speaking, I don't want a relationship, and I hope I made it clear with him. I don't think he wants one either. But if this is just all fun and games then there should be some type of boundaries? If not, then I should set some. Hm.... o.O
Work-wise, I have SOOO much to do! Just so much on my plate. T_T Have to rush something done tonight for my one and only~ u_u *sigh*
Social Life? Seeing this friend of mine a lot lately o_o Like every other day. I see his parents too, I play badminton with his father. So I don't know~ I know he likes me tho I'm not sure if he's just playing or what not. Frankly speaking, I don't want a relationship, and I hope I made it clear with him. I don't think he wants one either. But if this is just all fun and games then there should be some type of boundaries? If not, then I should set some. Hm.... o.O
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
One minute I'm laughing about Rainbow Bat Man, the next, I crash in disappointment. I went out to see this old friend of mine, did some stats, watched a movie, drove in mist (I mean mist! couldn't see a thing), had so much great laughter. After that, I had to drive myself back home in this HUGE thunderstorm. I thought the mist was bad, but the thunderstorm was SOOO BAD!! I literally couldn't see a thing. When I was turning into my street I don't know, I think I felt a very very small bomb on my car (like I hit something) O__O I am praying to God that it was nothing, it was becuz the road was bumby or something. I don't recall seeing anything. There were A LOT of rain, but when I turn, I turned pretty slowly, and I just don't recall seeing anything there. And I don't know why anyone would be there in a middle of a crazy thunderstorm? If not then, it may be a small animal or something? o.O It decides to take advantage of this pouring rain? yea... Or (and I think the most likely) a small branch or something, or something dropped something, a bottle or I dunno...
I got out of the car to go inside the house, that few second was enough to soak me. That's how bad it is out there. u_u
*sigh* and now... I feel so down. My boss lectured me the entire day today. Even after I got home, she called and discovered more issues with me. *sigh* I really don't know how to handle it. I know that she kept repeating herself cuz I'm not doing it. But sigh I dunno. u___________u sigggggggggggggggggggggggggh
I got out of the car to go inside the house, that few second was enough to soak me. That's how bad it is out there. u_u
*sigh* and now... I feel so down. My boss lectured me the entire day today. Even after I got home, she called and discovered more issues with me. *sigh* I really don't know how to handle it. I know that she kept repeating herself cuz I'm not doing it. But sigh I dunno. u___________u sigggggggggggggggggggggggggh
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Aftermath
So the exam didn't go well. I should have known that the ADMS ppls/courses/exams always, I MEAN ALWAYS~ find some ways to screw it over. I don't wanna repeat how they screw me over (tho I admit, I could have done better on my part, it definately wasn't my best u_u)
So I started preparing for finals. I got a quiz next week or something. *sigh* Getting some help from a friend on Wed, so doing my prep now. I still have to send my draft for the catalog for work by tonight. X_X So much stuff to do.
Today, I went to pick up my grad present for brit. If I have time and finds my mom's ipod touch lying around, I'll take a pic of it and post it lol. n omg~~ So I was at pmall today, didn't expect to buy anything else. I went into the CD store and usually, even if I want to buy something, the prices are a total turn off. But today, I found Alan's Best Of Album!!! For A REALLY REALLY GOOD PRICE!! It was still a bit expensive, but for the deal that I was getting, :D:D:D ^-^ I'm sooo happy. I have her album just standing there on my desk right now, her smile is too sweet to just put it away. Now that I think about it, the last album I got was FIR's Love Diva. It was like 2/3 years ago? lol I don't know~ I also saw Koda Kumi and I kinda wanna get her tour stuff. Cept, I find that their stuff is not compatible to our DVD, which means that I can only watch it on comp. But if I can watch it on comp, mine was well just youtube it something. Hm~ I do like Koda Kumi, there was a point in time (I think it was during her Kingdom era) that I debated and debated if I should get her CD. I'm still debating but she doesn't have the same appeal as Alan where something in me is just itching to own it. lol If it was a different CD cover, like her walking or something, I don't think I would have gotten it. hmm.. Let me find a picture, and you'll see what I mean.
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/18900000/alan-new-album-JAPAN-PREMIUM-BEST-MORE-alan-18980131-400-400.jpg
lol like how can you say no to that. lol In comparison to this:
http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UWACCvPqwYE/TVagnlUh6rI/AAAAAAAASgU/REdWRo5WMiY/s400/kk2007.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.twins-azalea.co.cc/2011/02/dvd-koda-kumi-koda-kumi-live-tour-2007.html&usg=__GoFFqN8vZRDJMfATBk6ibjOYxJ0=&h=400&w=283&sz=41&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=BTmj9dpJyg63iM:&tbnh=123&tbnw=86&ei=208BTpr9Hcm_tgfx2oT-DQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dkoda%2Bkumi%2Btour%2Bdvd%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D556%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=392&page=1&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0&tx=34&ty=65&biw=1024&bih=556
So I started preparing for finals. I got a quiz next week or something. *sigh* Getting some help from a friend on Wed, so doing my prep now. I still have to send my draft for the catalog for work by tonight. X_X So much stuff to do.
Today, I went to pick up my grad present for brit. If I have time and finds my mom's ipod touch lying around, I'll take a pic of it and post it lol. n omg~~ So I was at pmall today, didn't expect to buy anything else. I went into the CD store and usually, even if I want to buy something, the prices are a total turn off. But today, I found Alan's Best Of Album!!! For A REALLY REALLY GOOD PRICE!! It was still a bit expensive, but for the deal that I was getting, :D:D:D ^-^ I'm sooo happy. I have her album just standing there on my desk right now, her smile is too sweet to just put it away. Now that I think about it, the last album I got was FIR's Love Diva. It was like 2/3 years ago? lol I don't know~ I also saw Koda Kumi and I kinda wanna get her tour stuff. Cept, I find that their stuff is not compatible to our DVD, which means that I can only watch it on comp. But if I can watch it on comp, mine was well just youtube it something. Hm~ I do like Koda Kumi, there was a point in time (I think it was during her Kingdom era) that I debated and debated if I should get her CD. I'm still debating but she doesn't have the same appeal as Alan where something in me is just itching to own it. lol If it was a different CD cover, like her walking or something, I don't think I would have gotten it. hmm.. Let me find a picture, and you'll see what I mean.
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/18900000/alan-new-album-JAPAN-PREMIUM-BEST-MORE-alan-18980131-400-400.jpg
lol like how can you say no to that. lol In comparison to this:
http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UWACCvPqwYE/TVagnlUh6rI/AAAAAAAASgU/REdWRo5WMiY/s400/kk2007.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.twins-azalea.co.cc/2011/02/dvd-koda-kumi-koda-kumi-live-tour-2007.html&usg=__GoFFqN8vZRDJMfATBk6ibjOYxJ0=&h=400&w=283&sz=41&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=BTmj9dpJyg63iM:&tbnh=123&tbnw=86&ei=208BTpr9Hcm_tgfx2oT-DQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dkoda%2Bkumi%2Btour%2Bdvd%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D556%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=392&page=1&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0&tx=34&ty=65&biw=1024&bih=556
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Stats II Exam
Soo Midterms on Sat~ And lately, I feel so so so guilty, cuz I just feel like I havent study enough yet. Instead of studying, my eyes are on the net looking at bags and shoes and sales lol x_x I told myself that I am not going shopping until after midterms but that doesn't keep my heart from flying there. lol *sigh* I did all 5 chapters MC test bank yesterday. It was so cruel. lol
omg~ Funny thing that happened today. ommmmggg~ so I made an appointment with my TA (kinda) (he's my age, if not, then he's a year younger than me) for like extra help cuz I like failed the MC. lol~ Long story short, he agreed to meet me for 1 hour only and he reminded me (which I really did totally forgot) his work hours. So you see~ it was all professional and just business ~ Still, my sister thought that appointment was inappropriate. Considering that it was not at his work hours, we met elsewhere (Timmys) instead of the school... but that was becuz it was more convenient for him ( well both of us actually) And in a way, I get it~ It doesn't look good for both of us~ So it won't happen again~ Especially after what happened today LOLOL
omg... where do I begin? Ok so~ He arrived a bit late and we got right into regression analysis. Suddenly, he received a call and he was like "I'm helping a friend with stats rite now~ ttul~ lunch after (w.e the convo was)" lol
Some time later, some older guy walked in and he was like "hey~ how come you're here?" My TA responded "helping a friend with stats" Then he responded something and immediately, the TA got really frustrated and angry that he was disturbing us. He made this gesture to show him that like I was there. But he doesn't seem to get it, he kept talking to him, until you can tell that the TA was really really annoyed. Then he like asked to borrow money from him or something~ So my TA pull up some money and gave it to him, and he left. My TA was p-i-s-s-e-d! lol that guy like robbed him. lol The entire time, I was just trying to pretend like I didn't notice anything.
So the studying continued, however, I think the TA still felt annoy and he was not very umm... he was not in a good mood. THEN Suddenly!!! That guy came back. He took a seat beside my TA, turned his body toward us, and was like watching us. lolol omg it was soooo awk!! lol I don't even know what he was doing, he was just sitting there watching us. We were both like o.O - pretending not to notice anything, just studying the formulas and books. So for like a good 20-30 minutes, that's what he was doing. I didn't even look at him cuz again, I was pretending to not notice anything.
After some time, he finally left. When the one hour is up, my TA was like "o~ where did he go?" SO I said, "o~ I think your friend left already (I only said his friend cuz I know it couldn't be his father)" Then he said, "lol, that's my uncle."
loool~ So jokes~ I don't know why, but I get a strange feeling that his uncle made some comments about me or something. I have no idea, I tried not to eardrop. I will also withhold comments I have about his uncle out of respect for my TA ~of course~ lol
Anyway, I think people (like my sister or even maybe that uncle guy) think that there might be something going on, but it's all in their heads. lol My TA is definitely a good guy, I would write a letter of reference for him, but he's my TA. That's that~
omg~ Funny thing that happened today. ommmmggg~ so I made an appointment with my TA (kinda) (he's my age, if not, then he's a year younger than me) for like extra help cuz I like failed the MC. lol~ Long story short, he agreed to meet me for 1 hour only and he reminded me (which I really did totally forgot) his work hours. So you see~ it was all professional and just business ~ Still, my sister thought that appointment was inappropriate. Considering that it was not at his work hours, we met elsewhere (Timmys) instead of the school... but that was becuz it was more convenient for him ( well both of us actually) And in a way, I get it~ It doesn't look good for both of us~ So it won't happen again~ Especially after what happened today LOLOL
omg... where do I begin? Ok so~ He arrived a bit late and we got right into regression analysis. Suddenly, he received a call and he was like "I'm helping a friend with stats rite now~ ttul~ lunch after (w.e the convo was)" lol
Some time later, some older guy walked in and he was like "hey~ how come you're here?" My TA responded "helping a friend with stats" Then he responded something and immediately, the TA got really frustrated and angry that he was disturbing us. He made this gesture to show him that like I was there. But he doesn't seem to get it, he kept talking to him, until you can tell that the TA was really really annoyed. Then he like asked to borrow money from him or something~ So my TA pull up some money and gave it to him, and he left. My TA was p-i-s-s-e-d! lol that guy like robbed him. lol The entire time, I was just trying to pretend like I didn't notice anything.
So the studying continued, however, I think the TA still felt annoy and he was not very umm... he was not in a good mood. THEN Suddenly!!! That guy came back. He took a seat beside my TA, turned his body toward us, and was like watching us. lolol omg it was soooo awk!! lol I don't even know what he was doing, he was just sitting there watching us. We were both like o.O - pretending not to notice anything, just studying the formulas and books. So for like a good 20-30 minutes, that's what he was doing. I didn't even look at him cuz again, I was pretending to not notice anything.
After some time, he finally left. When the one hour is up, my TA was like "o~ where did he go?" SO I said, "o~ I think your friend left already (I only said his friend cuz I know it couldn't be his father)" Then he said, "lol, that's my uncle."
loool~ So jokes~ I don't know why, but I get a strange feeling that his uncle made some comments about me or something. I have no idea, I tried not to eardrop. I will also withhold comments I have about his uncle out of respect for my TA ~of course~ lol
Anyway, I think people (like my sister or even maybe that uncle guy) think that there might be something going on, but it's all in their heads. lol My TA is definitely a good guy, I would write a letter of reference for him, but he's my TA. That's that~
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I'm really really upset right now... I want to play badminton. There's a tourney this Sunday and I need practice. But my immature father decides to have a little fun and lectures me on crap before I can take the car to go. Crap like you already played yesterday, do you know your own family's schedule today? I didn't even know why I even ask... >_> Should have just took the car and they call me. They don't need the other car, he was just trying to make it hard for me and I won't go. Congratz~ You got what you wanted, I'm not going. The reason is this:
1) I have to pay to play, so every minute we spend on this meaningless convo counts. I'm using my own money (I don't even have an income >_>) so if I'm not getting the full amount of playing time, I usually just don't go.
2) I RATHER NOT TALK TO YOU THAN PLAY BADMINTON. I love this sport but if it means to talk to you and all, I rather not play. At this point, I don't ever want to speak to you again. You gave church/fellowship such a bad name to me. Your style and your way of behaviour makes me sick. Yes, you're a hardworking father trying to control 5 children. However, I cannot stand your sick humour. You always complain how I never speak my mind, but that's because I don't think the environment is safe to speak on what was really on my mind.
I am eager to leave this house, to break the stupid dumb outdated 60s rules. To rid of your sick influences. I don't need your permission or your approval to make my own decision and live my life. I hate how you control freaks tries to dictates my life. I use to think that I owe my live to my parents, I use to be grateful that my parents love me enough to tolerate me and not have me thrown out the window like what happened to my neighbors. But now I realize that I owe you people nothing. Instead, you owe me A LOT MORE! I don't want to use the word hate, but I strongly dislike you people rite now. What you've done to me.
I don't know what to say. I just want to get out of this house. It's not just me, Esther and Joyce, we all want to leave.
Frige, I can't believe I tried asking permission to live my own life. SO I was like "fine, I'll walk there! Take the damn car to the many damn fellowships that we have to go!"
1) I have to pay to play, so every minute we spend on this meaningless convo counts. I'm using my own money (I don't even have an income >_>) so if I'm not getting the full amount of playing time, I usually just don't go.
2) I RATHER NOT TALK TO YOU THAN PLAY BADMINTON. I love this sport but if it means to talk to you and all, I rather not play. At this point, I don't ever want to speak to you again. You gave church/fellowship such a bad name to me. Your style and your way of behaviour makes me sick. Yes, you're a hardworking father trying to control 5 children. However, I cannot stand your sick humour. You always complain how I never speak my mind, but that's because I don't think the environment is safe to speak on what was really on my mind.
I am eager to leave this house, to break the stupid dumb outdated 60s rules. To rid of your sick influences. I don't need your permission or your approval to make my own decision and live my life. I hate how you control freaks tries to dictates my life. I use to think that I owe my live to my parents, I use to be grateful that my parents love me enough to tolerate me and not have me thrown out the window like what happened to my neighbors. But now I realize that I owe you people nothing. Instead, you owe me A LOT MORE! I don't want to use the word hate, but I strongly dislike you people rite now. What you've done to me.
I don't know what to say. I just want to get out of this house. It's not just me, Esther and Joyce, we all want to leave.
Frige, I can't believe I tried asking permission to live my own life. SO I was like "fine, I'll walk there! Take the damn car to the many damn fellowships that we have to go!"
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Deactivated FB
Yeah~ the deed was done yesterday morning after some thinking... Until the stalker craze die down, I'm not going back on fb. I know it was just one crazy creepy loser freak and I can always fb block him, but still... I feel more comfortable if I can't be found at all. I blocked him on msn too and yea... u_u What a creep and complainer~ I don't care who are mutual friends~ even if it's Brit's or Ranny's, that was probably one of the most idiotic child I've talk to.
Anyway, what I learned today or past few days (haven't blog awhile)
-do NOT talk to strangers ever again!!! (no matter how pitiful they are, how dumbingly entertaining they are, or even somehow they manage to be charming; demonstrating values) talking to a person that you do not know is a NO-NO!!
-do tasks with an urgency~ to do it now, not later!!
-changing my style, maybe even just copying a celebrity style ~ whatever it is, is better than sloppy joe T_T I'm looking at Blake Lively and :D liking it~
Current Music: Sparks Fly - Tyler Ward & Julia Sheer
Anyway, what I learned today or past few days (haven't blog awhile)
-do NOT talk to strangers ever again!!! (no matter how pitiful they are, how dumbingly entertaining they are, or even somehow they manage to be charming; demonstrating values) talking to a person that you do not know is a NO-NO!!
-do tasks with an urgency~ to do it now, not later!!
-changing my style, maybe even just copying a celebrity style ~ whatever it is, is better than sloppy joe T_T I'm looking at Blake Lively and :D liking it~
Current Music: Sparks Fly - Tyler Ward & Julia Sheer
Saturday, June 4, 2011
found this today
沒發生的事，不要胡說；做不到的事，別亂說；
傷害人的事，不能說；討厭的事，對事不對人的說；
開心的事，看埸合說；傷心的事，不要見人就說；
別人的事，小心的說；自己的事，聽聽自己的心怎麼說；
現在的事，做了再說；未來的事，未來再說
lol as for 2day... did some math today... some.. u_u having trouble w/ forecasting u\-u I just don't get it and it's too tideous. I think decision analysis is easier... \>_< hmm let's see baddy tourney tomorrow. Wish me luck!! :P
傷害人的事，不能說；討厭的事，對事不對人的說；
開心的事，看埸合說；傷心的事，不要見人就說；
別人的事，小心的說；自己的事，聽聽自己的心怎麼說；
現在的事，做了再說；未來的事，未來再說
lol as for 2day... did some math today... some.. u_u having trouble w/ forecasting u\-u I just don't get it and it's too tideous. I think decision analysis is easier... \>_< hmm let's see baddy tourney tomorrow. Wish me luck!! :P
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