Bittersweet

wo~ havent blog for some time~ lool Just finished finals~ one more semester till I graduate (if all goes well) u_u *sigh* school can get so stressful if you know what I mean. lo *sigh* so it's like 5:52 am right now lol I got up at 4:50am this morning, cuz I just can't sleep.

I don't know how many times Im gonna tell but lol ranny's new gf don't want us to see each other ever again. It's reasonable and even if she wasnt being reasonable, it's Ranny's choice to get with her lol n I'll just leave him to it. lool. I can't help but be a little sad though, I mean he has been my closest fried (n still is) for half a almost a decade~ He's a really cool guy, I treasure him as my friend but lool she don't want us to be friends.

When Ranny told me a few weeks ago that we can only see each other at school from now on, I already knew what was up. He finally confirm it yesterday that his gf just dun want us to see each other ever again(not even in big group) so I was like, maybe invite her the next time~ It'll be fun! I have a bf too so I dun know what crack she's on~ jkin~ didn't say that but Idunno~ I feel kinda superior in a way cuz she seems to be inferior to me. lol I kinda like it too, it's like she's insecure and totally scare~ lol

we're still meeting up today though, lol I have to give him his Christmas present and his tunner (which he left in my gu zheng for like half a year) back. I don't mind keeping it for another half a a year or lool forevermore~ but I just thought he might want it back. He acts all so strange sometimes, giving me all these mix signals lool :P The price of keeping his gf :P That's how I know certain she's here to stay and not just a fling~ I wish him the best though <3 His gf/ relationship issues is not my problem lo~ cuz I'm not involve.

Anyway, I think I'm moving forward and already over it. I still love Ranny though (as a friend lo) I think there will always be a place for him, he made an impact in my life, shape it and I can't deny that. *sigh* lool Hence, I'm still blogging about him.

It's just bittersweet when I think about it. Every time I feel sad about it Kelly's Clarkson's new song just kick in!! :d Here's one of my fav! It's on repeat~

"The War Is Over"

I watch the days rush by me like a river
I shouldn't wait, but I'm scared to touch the water
I let the phone ring, why won't you believe me
I wait for silence, takes a lot not to answer

All I have to say is
You don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away
Cause you don't deserve me, and you're not worthy

And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I never been so sure
(The war is over) cause the war is over

I used to let you paint 'em pretty pictures
You got me caught up with your "you're my girl forever"
So I forgive you, it felt good when you hold me
Yeah you owned me
Now you wish you had really known me

All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy

And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I've never been so sure
(The war is over)

This is not my surrender
I'm not running for cover
I'm right here, I know you see me
But your words no longer defeat me
In the night when you're lonely
You remember how much you miss me
So you call, but I swear
You can try a million times, you'll get the same answer

All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy

And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)

The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over