Stats II Exam

Soo Midterms on Sat~ And lately, I feel so so so guilty, cuz I just feel like I havent study enough yet. Instead of studying, my eyes are on the net looking at bags and shoes and sales lol x_x I told myself that I am not going shopping until after midterms but that doesn't keep my heart from flying there. lol *sigh* I did all 5 chapters MC test bank yesterday. It was so cruel. lol

omg~ Funny thing that happened today. ommmmggg~ so I made an appointment with my TA (kinda) (he's my age, if not, then he's a year younger than me) for like extra help cuz I like failed the MC. lol~ Long story short, he agreed to meet me for 1 hour only and he reminded me (which I really did totally forgot) his work hours. So you see~ it was all professional and just business ~ Still, my sister thought that appointment was inappropriate. Considering that it was not at his work hours, we met elsewhere (Timmys) instead of the school... but that was becuz it was more convenient for him ( well both of us actually) And in a way, I get it~ It doesn't look good for both of us~ So it won't happen again~ Especially after what happened today LOLOL

omg... where do I begin? Ok so~ He arrived a bit late and we got right into regression analysis. Suddenly, he received a call and he was like "I'm helping a friend with stats rite now~ ttul~ lunch after (w.e the convo was)" lol

Some time later, some older guy walked in and he was like "hey~ how come you're here?" My TA responded "helping a friend with stats" Then he responded something and immediately, the TA got really frustrated and angry that he was disturbing us. He made this gesture to show him that like I was there. But he doesn't seem to get it, he kept talking to him, until you can tell that the TA was really really annoyed. Then he like asked to borrow money from him or something~ So my TA pull up some money and gave it to him, and he left. My TA was p-i-s-s-e-d! lol that guy like robbed him. lol The entire time, I was just trying to pretend like I didn't notice anything.

So the studying continued, however, I think the TA still felt annoy and he was not very umm... he was not in a good mood. THEN Suddenly!!! That guy came back. He took a seat beside my TA, turned his body toward us, and was like watching us. lolol omg it was soooo awk!! lol I don't even know what he was doing, he was just sitting there watching us. We were both like o.O - pretending not to notice anything, just studying the formulas and books. So for like a good 20-30 minutes, that's what he was doing. I didn't even look at him cuz again, I was pretending to not notice anything.

After some time, he finally left. When the one hour is up, my TA was like "o~ where did he go?" SO I said, "o~ I think your friend left already (I only said his friend cuz I know it couldn't be his father)" Then he said, "lol, that's my uncle."

loool~ So jokes~ I don't know why, but I get a strange feeling that his uncle made some comments about me or something. I have no idea, I tried not to eardrop. I will also withhold comments I have about his uncle out of respect for my TA ~of course~ lol

Anyway, I think people (like my sister or even maybe that uncle guy) think that there might be something going on, but it's all in their heads. lol My TA is definitely a good guy, I would write a letter of reference for him, but he's my TA. That's that~

I'm really really upset right now... I want to play badminton. There's a tourney this Sunday and I need practice. But my immature father decides to have a little fun and lectures me on crap before I can take the car to go. Crap like you already played yesterday, do you know your own family's schedule today? I didn't even know why I even ask... >_> Should have just took the car and they call me. They don't need the other car, he was just trying to make it hard for me and I won't go. Congratz~ You got what you wanted, I'm not going. The reason is this:

1) I have to pay to play, so every minute we spend on this meaningless convo counts. I'm using my own money (I don't even have an income >_>) so if I'm not getting the full amount of playing time, I usually just don't go.

2) I RATHER NOT TALK TO YOU THAN PLAY BADMINTON. I love this sport but if it means to talk to you and all, I rather not play. At this point, I don't ever want to speak to you again. You gave church/fellowship such a bad name to me. Your style and your way of behaviour makes me sick. Yes, you're a hardworking father trying to control 5 children. However, I cannot stand your sick humour. You always complain how I never speak my mind, but that's because I don't think the environment is safe to speak on what was really on my mind.

I am eager to leave this house, to break the stupid dumb outdated 60s rules. To rid of your sick influences. I don't need your permission or your approval to make my own decision and live my life. I hate how you control freaks tries to dictates my life. I use to think that I owe my live to my parents, I use to be grateful that my parents love me enough to tolerate me and not have me thrown out the window like what happened to my neighbors. But now I realize that I owe you people nothing. Instead, you owe me A LOT MORE! I don't want to use the word hate, but I strongly dislike you people rite now. What you've done to me.

I don't know what to say. I just want to get out of this house. It's not just me, Esther and Joyce, we all want to leave.


Frige, I can't believe I tried asking permission to live my own life. SO I was like "fine, I'll walk there! Take the damn car to the many damn fellowships that we have to go!"

Deactivated FB

Yeah~ the deed was done yesterday morning after some thinking... Until the stalker craze die down, I'm not going back on fb. I know it was just one crazy creepy loser freak and I can always fb block him, but still... I feel more comfortable if I can't be found at all. I blocked him on msn too and yea... u_u What a creep and complainer~ I don't care who are mutual friends~ even if it's Brit's or Ranny's, that was probably one of the most idiotic child I've talk to.

Anyway, what I learned today or past few days (haven't blog awhile)

-do NOT talk to strangers ever again!!! (no matter how pitiful they are, how dumbingly entertaining they are, or even somehow they manage to be charming; demonstrating values) talking to a person that you do not know is a NO-NO!!

-do tasks with an urgency~ to do it now, not later!!

-changing my style, maybe even just copying a celebrity style ~ whatever it is, is better than sloppy joe T_T I'm looking at Blake Lively and :D liking it~

Current Music: Sparks Fly - Tyler Ward & Julia Sheer

found this today

沒發生的事，不要胡說；做不到的事，別亂說；
傷害人的事，不能說；討厭的事，對事不對人的說；
開心的事，看埸合說；傷心的事，不要見人就說；
別人的事，小心的說；自己的事，聽聽自己的心怎麼說；
現在的事，做了再說；未來的事，未來再說

lol as for 2day... did some math today... some.. u_u having trouble w/ forecasting u\-u I just don't get it and it's too tideous. I think decision analysis is easier... \>_< hmm let's see baddy tourney tomorrow. Wish me luck!! :P

No Internet Connection

So my dad decided to um change Internet company, which means that during this transitional, there'll be no Internet in our house. >_> So instead, I went to my a nearby college and used my sister's account to log on to their computers. Hm~ Yeah~ Everyone in the house is looking for alternative ways for Internet connection. Jojo drove to McDonald and did something stupid. I don't know, a lot of the times, I just don't understand what it is that he was thinking. Anyway, thank God I knew about the no internet situation like yesterday when I came home from night school, and not like on Friday - the current most important date: 2012 course selection at 5:30. Not only do I need the basic Internet, I need high speed if I am gonna win the battle of first come first serve enrolment.

O yea, just yesterday, I was at the bookstore and I found this like resume/cover letter book and it got me thinking. I was really tempted to buy it. Something just touched me, I felt moved and motivated. I had a huge debate and I'm still debating weather or not I should get it. It's like $20 and I don't know, yea maybe I should get it. lol It inspired to blog more about my day~ lol

About my day, I started work today. I failed the first impression and learned hat I'
m not suppose to bring a binder because I don't want to look like a student. What I want to be/ look like is something that is promotional material. So I will need to dress better and bring better stuff - more professional pens,folder,notebook. Taskwise it went okay~ Not bad, surprisingly. I made a small error but I was able to fix it and act like nothing was wrong. ^^ll I'll be much more careful next time. Other than that, there aren't anything else.

O and since there's no internet, I played a lot more gu zheng. I finished JJLin's Jiang Niam (o.O) and started Lady Gaga's Speechless, 2NE1's it hurt, BoA's Jewel Song, BoA's Every Heart~ Currently perfecting Jay Chou's An Jing~ It's too bad that I don't have a video camera. My dad said he got one and they are shipping it but I don't know when it will arrive. My boss is interested in seeing my youtube channel, so that she will get an idea of how I interactive with my social media audenice, which right now, is like 0 on youtube. X_X

hm I think blogspot is having some issues lately~ Anyways... Life is same old~ feeling kinda down~ lol wants to have so much more but doesn't seem like I'm achieve anything. I want to go to a prestigious school. My dream schools are Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Duke, Cambridge, and Oxford. But from the looks of it, my chances are so slim. *sigh* If only...

*sigh* Recently, well I don't think it's recent, more like ever since he got a new gf lol, I've been missing him so much~ T_T Kept trying to laugh it off but at the end of the day, and I'm alone, I just want to call him up~ but he's in HK or wherever he might be~ point is, I can't just call him. Even if we're friends and friends talk on the phone, it just don't work like that... Not when you are on the other side of the world with yr gf.

Funny~ cuz that's one of the reason why I wanted to end it is that he'll be traveling around the world with his friends (guys and GIRLS *coughcough >_> not gonna say who) and I'll be stuck at home all by myself. The reality is that even if I were to be still with him, I will still be like this~ down~ cuz a part of me just wants to be wherever he is, which is impossible (as of right now). sigh

I hope you learn to cherish the things you have like today's the last. I hope you appreciate the things process as if it's the only thing you have. I hope you learn from your past mistakes.

I wish you will fall in love with me again someday...

I got this feeling that it might just happen~

moving on~ It's my father's bday today~ Happy bday daddy!! n I'm really hungry. I should sleep soon

From This Day On Part I

Too much time wasted on nothing. So, I wanna try something. I guess it can be a project... Im not doing very well right now. Still waiting for my call back. Still trying to do math. Still not knowning as many vocabs or reading as many books as I intended to. Still not jogging everday. It just seem like Im falling short in so many areas. Still, at the end of the day, I dont know why, but none of that stuff matters that much to me. Doesnt matter how many motivational speech or inspiration quotes, everything seems to loses its purposes after that height of emotion pass.

My friend said something to me the other day that keeps bugging me. Its one of those things thats just disturbing. She said Im a poor self evaluator and I always let my pride get in way. This pride is hindering my learning. I wanted to deny it but I thought back, and shes right.

I want to change that. Especially since pride got in the way with my relationship with Ranny and I vowed (lol) to eliminate anything that will hurt my relationship. So this summer, I am going learn to be a better learner. Maybe make this world a better place, simply because this is something that God wants right... and it helps with motivation... it sounds simple...

According to my research, before we get the receipt for being a good learner (then lifelong learners). I found some important concepts.

- Learning is a sport, you must make what you learn apart of yourself
- you can learn anything when you put your mind to it
-perseveres and does not become frustrated or discouraged when items are not easily understood at first.
-A good learner will realize that in many instances, learning is not always a spontaneous event, but something that is realized over a period of time.

Now comes the what I call it the 10 Learning Commandments!!

1. willing to put some time and effort into it - don't expect it just to happen.
2. study regularly and frequently
3. always think of yourself as a beginner
4. have a method: prepare,participate, review (on time and regularly)
5. able to share (ideas and knowledge)
6. remains focused on the subject matter at hand until it is well ingrained.
7. have good time mgmt skills
8. monitor the accuracy of what they say, noticing the teacher's corrections and reformulations and learning from them
9. take every opportunity to practise, including talking to themselves
10. goal orientated and self-efficacy

Thatès it for today. Not feeling very well right now. Need to sleep. Nite