Really Upset

It's snowing~ but that's not it.
I had my HRM Research exam this morning ~ but it's not that either.
My OD Prof really lectured us today ~ but it's not that.
My boss called me~ I'm actually glad.

My parents made some mistakes~ I can't say what but I'm really worry. Really upset why they would do that. I don't want to believe what the other people are saying. I just can't believe it. Not my own parents.

I just don't believe it. I wish these thoughts will just leave me.

I'm just going to focus on exams and studying and work and prep for the case study competition. Currently preparing the case and going head on with our competitions. I really really really want to win this. I might struggle in confidence, but lately, I learned to be humble and be confident in God. lol

Current Music: Scared of Lonely - Beyonce

Wanna Cry

Just looking at the 30 page case study makes me wanna cry. I don't wanna read it T_______T We have to finish the 5 page report + the 15 minute presentation in a week.*sigh* DUe monday T____T. THe HRM research report is like 27 pages, over 5000 words due tomorrow and Psy exam on SUnday. T___T I hope my boss completely forget to assign me stuff. >_<

Pleasssssssssseeeeeeeeee forgeeeeeeeet~

CUrrent Music: The only exception - Glee

interesting review

So recently, Ranny's been somewhat strange. I don't want to think too much about it but I don't know, I thin something's up. Long story short, his msn name is suggesting something odd. I'm not exactly sure I know what I am talking and I'm pretty sure I'm thinking too much already, but I just can't help noticing his first display name "I dunno, i dunno i dunno y did i do that", and then " y did I do this?", and later, "hate life". o.O I know that he went pooling with Becky and some other friends of her, like did anything happen between them. lol~ Not that is any of my business, but it's a possibility.=\ Hmm~ What's even more strange, is that today, he ask me to go out to lunch with him. We talked and stuff. With the stuff that we talked about, something's definitely bothering him. But what? I hope he knows that he can tell me. Even if a relationship didn't work out, we're still the closest friends.

Having said that, I don't see us in a relationship right now. Not now, not ever. It's not impossible but odds are against it. Reality is cruel and life is demanding. We've chosen our own path.

Current Music: Sway - Glee

Marry U

After balling my eyes out for the past few dayz, all of a sudden, I feel so happy~ I have so much energy~ And just in time too~ research report due next Wed, Psy exam next Sunday, then Issues persentation on the folling Mon and then Research exam on the follwing Wed. o__o And lots more exams to come. The case compeletion is coming too!! >_<

Currently falling in love with this new Glee song~ Marry U <3 It sound sooo Christmasy for some strange reason~ :P

._.

Why is Esther so defensive of our parents? She's like aggressively defensive. Just one word that suggest our parents are bad parents and she goes ballistic. She did admit several times that our parents are definitely not the best, but what does it matter? No matter how much you try to protect them it's not gonna help if they themselves don't care. So get off my case~ You have absolutely no knowledge to judge or say anything. Until you walk in my shoes, any comments/ arguments you make is going to be invalid to me. It's going to make you look like a fool, because your eyes are blind.

I know being parents are tough, but maybe they should think about that before having all 5 kids? Perhaps my "friend" brainwashed me, but she's right. And don't even pretend like you are interested in me, all these sappy-love talk just makes me laugh. I rather you people just don't love me at all than confuse me with your ultra-mix signals.

Love me conveniently. Love me minimally. Love me conditionally. These garbage words goes in to a relationship and it comes right out. I rather you ppls be completely cold with me.



Once or twice I ran away from home when I was 6/7ish, and you know what, I still want to. Sometimes I want to cut all ties with them. Sometimes I just can't stand them. Other times, they just don't exist to me. There are even times when I just want to disappear, and I came close once, too close. Who knew what would have happen to me? It's funny how till now, they still know nothing. It wasn't that long ago that I was kidnap in the mall, didn't know about that huh? and you'll never know anything, because you don't care enough. All my closest friends knew, but you are among the outsiders, the passerby, the extras in a movie that wish they were somebody.
In the past, you ppls were somebody. Now? You ppls lost it. I don't know if you realize this, but ur slowly being replace. There's an ambitious woman (aka my boss) in my life and she has already step up to replace you ppls. Her impact are 100% bigger and stronger than your 21 years influence (mostly negative).

Take care of yourselves.
I can't say I'll be there.
I know you're sorry, and I am too.

Distractions

Going to study as much Psy as possible. Hopefully it'll completely distract me. u__u

encouragment

So I mess up some work stuff and my boss is trying to save our asses now. I bet she has already told like everyone about this... well no everybody but all her close buddy that this some "urgent" matter as come.

Funny thing is, I know I mess up, but Im not exactly sorry. I just feel like I got more work to do now, how annoying. It's a good mistake to learn from though. I'm somewhat angry at myself for doing that and I can tell you my boss sound really upset. >_> Sigh. Sorry won't cut it, so now what? I'm so fed up with feeling so guilty all the time. Sigh.......

I think I need some encouragement. u_u