speechless

My x got a new gf. Somehow, even tho I have no reason to, I feel so sad. SOme say it's jealousy. Other say its cuz I still love him. But it doesn't matter, because no matter what they say, Im still sad. I tried rationalizing, but it only aided a tiny bit. The whole world is celebrating that my x found 'finally' found someone.

Even when I told my siblings, they were all like 'oh good~ u can move on'. And I know I should, but everytime he comes across my mind, somehow it just kinda hurt. I don't know if we can even be friends anymore. All of a sudden, it got so awk. But I don't want to throw out like 8 years of friendship for some girl. Yet at the same time, it's not the same anymore.

What saddens me the most is that he wants me to move on too. Keep telling me to date and give other guys a try. Like yea, no, you can go screw youself.

In a way tho, I am happy that he's getting all these 'new exp'. He's so socialable, happy, friendly~ If we're meant to be, if we were wut he said like 8 years ago lol, we'll be together~ lo I don't know, but at the point in time, knowning that I'm the winner at the end, I'm happy.

He's right. I should do the same and choose from the most qualify canadiate. I want the best for me too. He's gonna have some major comepetition. By that time comes, he better be prepare.lol