Christmas List

Omg I think Im going broke, but here's what I got for Christmas lool~

Stuff I got for myself (I got stuff for others too! )
1. The Little Black Dress @ H&M
2. Nail package stuff @ Secret
3. hair mask @ body shop
4. Hair detangle spray? @ body shop
5. Skin booster? @ body shop
6. clutch/small bag @ Zara <3<3<3
7. 2 pairs of jeans @ F21
8. 2 belts
9. 5 Playless necklace


Stuff that I got so far from other ppls that I know of lol:
- 2 DNKY shirts from Esther, small necklace and yummy chocolate candy
- warm slipper from Britt
- 16GB USB from the boyfriend <3 loool wut am I gonna do with all those Gs lool
- portable desk with desk lamp from Mom
- a cool vest, a dress, a tunic, and a chineseish-style shirt? from mom's friend

._. I don't have many friends and most of them r too poor n Im poor too~ X_X Praise the Lord though somehow I am able to afford these stuff, it's really amazing~

Bittersweet

wo~ havent blog for some time~ lool Just finished finals~ one more semester till I graduate (if all goes well) u_u *sigh* school can get so stressful if you know what I mean. lo *sigh* so it's like 5:52 am right now lol I got up at 4:50am this morning, cuz I just can't sleep.

I don't know how many times Im gonna tell but lol ranny's new gf don't want us to see each other ever again. It's reasonable and even if she wasnt being reasonable, it's Ranny's choice to get with her lol n I'll just leave him to it. lool. I can't help but be a little sad though, I mean he has been my closest fried (n still is) for half a almost a decade~ He's a really cool guy, I treasure him as my friend but lool she don't want us to be friends.

When Ranny told me a few weeks ago that we can only see each other at school from now on, I already knew what was up. He finally confirm it yesterday that his gf just dun want us to see each other ever again(not even in big group) so I was like, maybe invite her the next time~ It'll be fun! I have a bf too so I dun know what crack she's on~ jkin~ didn't say that but Idunno~ I feel kinda superior in a way cuz she seems to be inferior to me. lol I kinda like it too, it's like she's insecure and totally scare~ lol

we're still meeting up today though, lol I have to give him his Christmas present and his tunner (which he left in my gu zheng for like half a year) back. I don't mind keeping it for another half a a year or lool forevermore~ but I just thought he might want it back. He acts all so strange sometimes, giving me all these mix signals lool :P The price of keeping his gf :P That's how I know certain she's here to stay and not just a fling~ I wish him the best though <3 His gf/ relationship issues is not my problem lo~ cuz I'm not involve.

Anyway, I think I'm moving forward and already over it. I still love Ranny though (as a friend lo) I think there will always be a place for him, he made an impact in my life, shape it and I can't deny that. *sigh* lool Hence, I'm still blogging about him.

It's just bittersweet when I think about it. Every time I feel sad about it Kelly's Clarkson's new song just kick in!! :d Here's one of my fav! It's on repeat~

"The War Is Over"

I watch the days rush by me like a river
I shouldn't wait, but I'm scared to touch the water
I let the phone ring, why won't you believe me
I wait for silence, takes a lot not to answer

All I have to say is
You don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away
Cause you don't deserve me, and you're not worthy

And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I never been so sure
(The war is over) cause the war is over

I used to let you paint 'em pretty pictures
You got me caught up with your "you're my girl forever"
So I forgive you, it felt good when you hold me
Yeah you owned me
Now you wish you had really known me

All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy

And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)
And I won't fight you anymore
I've never been so sure
(The war is over)

This is not my surrender
I'm not running for cover
I'm right here, I know you see me
But your words no longer defeat me
In the night when you're lonely
You remember how much you miss me
So you call, but I swear
You can try a million times, you'll get the same answer

All I have to say is you don't deserve me, you don't deserve me
I'm finally walking away, cause you only hurt me
And you're not worthy

And I won't let you pull me in
Because I know you're gonna win
(The war is over) but the war is over (The war is over)

The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over
The war is over

sigh~ doing so bad in school these dayz.... sighhhh

¹¹ And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed

Amen -

THe 8 Blessings and giving thanks

wow~ I haven't blog for so long and what a strange time I choose to blog~ The morning of my morning midterm exam.

I don't remember my password but blogger remembered and was already signed in. o_o Well... I've actually really want to blog about this last Sunday, I was just so touch and inspired by the morning service. It's a total revelation.

As you know, I got backstabbed by this so-call-friend of mine. Long story short, I felt hurt and betray. I remember calling Ranny and I told him how confused I was. It was as if everyone in his world was evil and got plans to step on you to get ahead. I have my fair share of those incidents. I never took it personally, until that day I guess, I had enough. As a result, I turned down the crappy job they had to offer and I went my own way. Me and K (lets call her that for now) are on longer friends, which neither of us care.

So the topic for that SUnday morning was this, from Matthew 5:
³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

As I apply for jobs and move my way up to the chain, there are going to be lots and lots more people like K. To not think so is naive. To hide and to pretend is naive. Still, it is important to choose what is to do what is right and just. Even if they take everything you ever worked so hard for, destroyed your reputation and stole your achievements, be pure in heart and trust in the Lord.

On a random note :P lol
~I thank God for everything He has given me~

Lately~ I am tempted to purchase Adele's 21 o_o lol I don't know why but I've been listening to a lot of her music lately. I also want to watch 3D Glee X_X!! *sigh* My poor hard-earn-money~ THere are also these really cool hot blazer that I've been *_* but u know~ my room is kinda messy so until I clean I'm not getting anything. 'Sides it's really expensive >__> Like really really expensive *sigh* Maybe when I get a stable income then I can afford it.

So my father notice a change in behaviour in me~ He even called me out on it yesterday~ So whatever it is, it must be huge~ because my father usually don't notice anything about me really. Although I think I have my parents convinced that it's my demanding work that I am dating and perhaps the reason why I'm always so happy suddenly is because my boss has already driven me to insanity.

So my schedule looks hectic next week. I mean HECTIC! It's crazy, like I have to make time for family dinner. lol Not even bible study just eating at home. Maybe I should make more of an effort to spend more time with my family. So here's wut it looks like:

Monday - work, potluck dinner ^_<
Tuesday - badminton, chilling out with ya know~
Wednesday - work, tai chi, gu zheng (trying to fit everything in)
Thursday - gu zheng at night
Friday - maybe scrabble, maybe not
Saturday - Don't know yet
Sunday - Don't know yet

Hmm I need more time to practice gu zheng~ have to memorize some music x_X for Nov examination

Current Music: Set Fire To The Rain - Adele

2 years after the departure of my first relationship, I found another. Although it still hurts so much to see Ranny with some girl, I'm finally slowly moving on. I created an illusion that I was over him long ago, had my life all planned out, so eager to see what's next. But it's only an illusion, those who know me knows that Im still hurting...

So today I was at a wedding. Lots of funny stuff happened, all I can say is that my friend really knows how to select flower boys. lol!~ Anyway, when I have my wedding some day, the only person I want to be thinking about is my future hubby. Although I still love Ranny and I don't think this love will die unless I die too, there is a bright warm future waiting and calling to me.

<3 Tyler Ward