Hail!

Somehow I started rewatching Code Gegass lol~ At such a busy time of exam, I'm rewatching anime. Although it's one of Ranny's fav. anime and yes~ I have lots of those memories of watching this anime with him, I didn't rewatch it relive those memories. It somehow just came up on youtube, so I started watching and something insightful came to my mind.

All that the main character Lulu (short.)wanted is to built a happy peaceful world where his little sister Nunnerly can live and be happy. Who knew it would become such a mess? In the process of creating this world that his little sister didn't even ask for, he lost his first love and childhood friend Euphinee (or however you spell her name), his good friend Shirley, his half brother Cloves (tho. he didn't like him much anyway), his pretended brother Rolo, his father and even his beloved mother, fought against his once most loyal bodyguard, his sister too (tho she came back later on fighting on the other side), and he pretty much became isolated from everyone. In the end, he died as well.

Still, no matter how the storyline twist, no matter what happened, he kept going. Whose blood he shed, those hatred built, he just kept going. There were times where he did tried using drugs and Kallen (lol) to comfort himself. Oh~ The pain he must be feeling~

Somehow this shed a new light in my life. What happened to me was nothing in comparison to what happened to Lulu .Still, even if I was him, there is no way I will pay that kind of price. All along, he had a tragic end in mind. But it doesn't have to be that way. But it's no wonder he planned his death. I wouldn't want to live either if I had pay such an unnecessary price. Still, I do find me and Lulu a bit alike. We both have an idealistic future in mind, one of happiness. To do so, we had to make trades off. In order to rebuilt something you must destroy it first. So he tried to destroy Brittian (or however you spell it >_>) and rebuilt a new society. Whereas me, I broke up with Ranny. TO this day, I have no regret. The only regret I have is not have been the best girlfriend when I was with him. Still, like Lulu, it's one of those things that just has to be done. And like Lulu, I have my reasons and the basis/ the foundation of these reasons are all irrational~ lol In the end, it all comes down to 'aishiteru' I did it for the both of us and I will not look back. It's been a week and 2 days since Ranny officially got a new girl. The sorries, the reasons, the explanations has gotten old. What happened between us will not be in vain. Believe me. I still have faith that one day, in the future, we will meet and even fall in love again. Until then, I will march on.

Current Music: somewhere with you - Tyler Ward